Toronto’s been getting frequent updates on the Rob Ford Crackgate circus since May, but for many joke-makers south of the border, the scandal is only worth mentioning when there’s a major break in the story. Thanks to Bill Blair, there have been many such breaks in the past few days. Monday night was the first chance for many talk shows—from The Daily Show to Chelsea Lately—to take a crack (sorry) at our mayor. Here, a compendium of Rob Ford-related jokes from our American friends. Depending on your point of view, these are either hilarious, embarrassing, recycled or just plain sad.
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show (in a segment called “Back in Crack”): “Smoking crack, and making racist and homophobic remarks. I believe in Canada, that’s referred to as a hat trick…But good on you, Toronto. It must be nice to live in a city so problem-free that it can be run for years by a hard-drinking crackmayor. Mr. Mayor, while you’re still able to speak—what were you thinking?”
Craig Ferguson on The Late Late Show (after a segment called “Guess Who’s the Alleged Crackhead”): “The mayor faces re-election next year, and I guess police were tipped off when they heard his slogan: ‘Get Toronto back on track, vote for the guy who likes to smoke crack.’ Actually, the real reason the police knew the mayor was smoking crack is because he predicted that the Maple Leafs would win the Stanley Cup.”
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show: “Really? The man went up five points? … How many crackheads are in Toronto?”
Howard Stern on The Howard Stern Show: “This Toronto mayor is the best…I gotta get to know more about this guy…This is Toronto, it ain’t Mayberry.”
A Rob Ford impersonator on Jimmy Kimmel Live! during a phony tourist ad for Toronto, which first aired back in June: “If you need a crack nap, just sidle up to one of the many dumpsters.”
Former wrestler John Layfield and on WWE Raw, while filming in Calgary: “I flew through Toronto and had a party with their mayor, Rob Ford…Actually, no I didn’t. I’d be indicted by now.”