Rob Ford was the biggest Canadian news story to hit the U.S. this century (this is not hyperbole) but it looks like Ford fatigue is finally setting in south of the border. Despite a raft of new allegations and outrageous Ford antics, Jimmy Kimmel Live! was the only late-night talk show to devote significant air-time to his Fordship last night. Kimmel’s latest bit—his second of the week—included jabs at Ford’s love of chicken wings, and a fake political ad prepared in case Ford ever decides to run for mayor in Washington, D.C.. The American capital is clearly willing to forgive a bit of mayoral crack smoking, and Ford is already starting to build a Republican base there.
every Rob Ford lookalike must have a ludicrous (although not necessarily ill-fitting) nickname. First there was Slurpy, who was asked to star in a counterfeit crack video earlier in the spring. Now, there’s performer Dave McKay—better known as Sketchy the Clown—who had an equally surreal run-in with the Fords while impersonating the mayor for a bizarre, hour-long Rofo Bus Tour on Sunday.
acting gig required him to emerge from the Etobicoke woods where police watched Ford and Sandro Lisi drink vodka, and pretend to be drunk for groups of paying tourists. Unbeknownst to McKay, however, the quiet cul-de-sac he was using as a green room was next to the homes of Doug Ford and Ford matriarch, Diane. Cue the mayoral intimidation.
Two of last week’s biggest stories—the ongoing Rob Ford fiasco and Jon Bon Jovi’s supposed desire to move the Buffalo Bills to Toronto—collided yesterday when the mayor showed up at the Bills’ annual game in Toronto. Ford made a weak attempt to play the part of your average Bills fan by wearing a Fred Jackson jersey and eating chicken wings. Despite his efforts, however, section 133 quickly turned into a chaotic mess of gawkers shoving to get close enough for a photo, cheering fans raising their beers, and security guards becoming flustered. Ford didn’t help by asking everyone who approached whether they would be voting for him in next year’s election (or by stealing Canadian rocker Matt Mays’ seat,which Mays played up for maximum sympathy). With the crowd becoming increasingly out of hand, Ford opted to leave at halftime—a shame for the Bills, who really needed all the fan-power they could get.
The exact nature of Rob Ford’s “health plan” is one of the many, many topics the mayor has refused to speak about. However, sleuths on Twitter appear to have unmasked at least one member of Ford’s “team of health-care professionals”: personal trainer Valerio Moscariello, who, of course, happens to have a checkered past. While living in Nevada in 2005, Moscariello pleaded guilty to possessing anabolic steroids and operating a website—www.juiceworld.com—to distribute them. The improbably large muscleman was sentenced to five months in federal prison—which apparently wasn’t enough to set him straight, since he went on to dope an athlete in 2009, earning him a 12-year coaching ban from the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport. Just what Ford needs as a role model right now: an unrepentant illegal substance user at risk of ‘roid rage. [National Post]
Rob Ford says he wants to run for prime minister of Canada
In an media blitz through some big American news stations, Rob reveals that his political aspirations aim way higher than merely mayor of Toronto. “Yes, one day I do want to run for Prime Minister,” Ford told Fox News. “I don’t believe Mr. Trudeau’s gonna be the next [prime minister], I believe Mr. Harper’s gonna get re-elected…You look at their record and put it to Mr. Trudeau’s record, it’s like night and day. Illegal drugs are illegal drugs. I’ve admitted to using illegal drugs in the last year. Okay.”
The 10 most unbelievable quotes from the past 36 hours of Rob Ford insanity, from Charlie Sheen to Kathleen Wynne
Somehow, in the past two days, the situation at city hall managed to get even more surreal. Council voted en masse to urge Rob Ford to step aside. Police documents allege Ford entertained a prostitute in his office. Ford talked about oral sex on TV (including CNN, which carried it live). The mayor got his own television show. Needless to say, it’s a total zoo. Here, we round up ten quotes that drive home how outlandish Toronto politics have become.
“If council were to clearly indicate that they lack the ability to function as a result of this matter, the province would respond to a request from council to be provided new tools…I would consult with the other party leaders to see if our legislature could move unanimously if required.”
—Premier Kathleen Wynne, opening the door to intervention from the province—under certain strict conditions
“If I can be of any assistance in any capacity in this media cesspool, please accept the noble offer of my steady hand and compassionate heart.”
Rob Ford plans to sue Mark Towhey, Isaac Ransom, “the media,” BierMarkt and everyone who said mean things about him
The city hall circus has already started up for the day. Rob Ford—sporting an Argos jersey and cowboy boots—just told reporters that he’ll sue former aides Mark Towhey, Isaac Ransom and George Christopoulos for the damning comments they made about him to police. (Among the ex-staffers’ claims revealed in yesterday’s document release: Ford hung out with a suspected sex worker at city hall; that staff believed the mayor had an issue with alcohol or prescription pills, including OxyContin; and that Ford pushed and verbally abused staffers.) Ford is also planning to sue a waiter at the BierMarkt who said he believed he heard the mayor doing lines of cocaine at the restaurant, as well as the media as a whole. “It’s unfortunate I have to take legal action,” Ford said, before vowing, “No one, but no one, is gonna accuse me of having escorts and doing lines at a bar.” The mayor is copping to at least one of the claims, however: “I might have had some drinks and driven, that’s absolutely wrong.”
No word yet on whether the Argos plan on suing the mayor for making this morning’s statement—including several lurid comments about oral sex—in their jersey.
“Let’s give him a chance.”
—Hockey motormouth Don Cherry, trying to rally the city’s residents around his buddy Rob Ford. Cherry acknowledged yesterday that he’s “disappointed” about some of Ford’s choices (like, say, smoking crack?), but said that Toronto’s most famous binge drinker should be given some space to turn his life around. “He has got to straighten himself out,” said Cherry. “And not just because of the mayor thing, but in general.” (But also: because of the mayor thing.) Sources close to Ford say he met with a personal trainer, nutritionist and a medical doctor over the weekend—but there hasn’t been a word about rehab or addiction counselling. [Toronto Sun]
“Rob’s honest, he’s truthful…I say he’s going to be the greatest mayor this city has ever seen as far as I’m concerned. And put that in your pipe you left-wing kooks.”
—Hockey commentator and sartorial risk-taker Don Cherry at Rob Ford’s inaugural council meeting back in 2010. As Ford’s special guest, Cherry appalled many councillors and Torontonians by using the solemn occasion as an opportunity to blast “left-wing pinkos.” In retrospect, an ironically prophetic choice of words.
The most embattled mayor in Toronto’s history has finally said he’s sorry—well, sort of. Yesterday, a sombre-sounding Rob Ford opened his weekly radio show with some contrite words:
Friends, I am the first one to admit, I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I have made mistakes, and all I can do right now is apologize for the mistakes. I sincerely, sincerely apologize to my family, to the citizens to the taxpayers of this great city and to my colleagues on Toronto city council.
Unfortunately, I cannot change the past. I can just move forward and learn from the past, which I assure you I am doing. [...] There’s no one to blame but myself, and I take full responsibility for it.
A few hours after
Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair confirmed the existence of the Rob Ford crack video, an irate fellow going by the name “Ian” called in to AM640 host Bill Carroll’s show to stand up for the mayor. Based on the caller’s cadence and phrasing, Carroll is convinced that “Ian from Etobicoke” is actually Ford himself, trying to disguise his voice. A competing theory comes courtesy of a Twitter contingent who believe it’s Ford’s big brother Randy. Listen for yourself and let us know what you think in the poll below.
“He’s happy that this thing is going to come to a conclusion in the sense that there is a video and he wants it seen by the public as soon as possible.”
—Dennis Morris, who has the unenviable job of being Rob Ford’s lawyer, making an unexpected push for police to release the recovered video to the public. According to Morris, Ford wants Torontonians to judge for themselves whether the pipe he was smoking contained crack rather than tobacco or pot. (Yes, it really has come to this.) Morris argues the move is necessary after Police Chief Bill Blair’s “dirty” press conference yesterday “because when the chief of police offers a suggestion that somebody is smoking crack cocaine, people obviously make the leap that it must be so.” Unfortunately for Ford—and for the rest of us—several legal hurdles stand in the way of making the clip available right away.
“I have no reason to resign.”
—Mayor Rob Ford, on today’s damning disclosures about his private life. The mayor’s morning started off poorly when reporters got hold of a police document cataloguing dozens of mysterious meetings between Ford and alleged drug dealer Sandro Lisi. Things got much, much worse when Police Chief Bill Blair confirmed that his investigators had found the infamous crack video. By mid-afternoon, Ford decided he’d better face the mob of reporters outside his office. “I think everybody has seen the allegations against me today,” he said. “I wish I could come out and defend myself. Unfortunately I can’t, ’cause it’s before the court and that’s all I can say right now.” His next move? “I’m going to go back and return my phone calls.” We imagine he has quite a few messages waiting. [CTV]