The latest young turks to take literary New York by storm: the cheesemongers. A recent New York Times article surveyed the new breed of cheese labels and tags that has emerged to lend appeal to more obscure products, like Bavarian Adelleger (one cheese wag wrote of it: “Just think of a scene in a movie where the lead actress, obviously one of the greats, turns around slowly and walks away from the camera taking your entire attention with her.”). In these descriptions, tasting notes take a backseat to references to Lindsay Lohan, sparkly nail polish and, inevitably, sex. The practice isn’t without its critics, of course: one seller had to tone things down after a customer objected to a Nostradamus reference. Toronto’s cheese shops have yet to rise to such lyrical heights on their labels—although there’s something to said for the more utilitarian prose at, say, About Cheese. Read the entire story [New York Times] »
All stories relating to Lindsay Lohan
CONFIRMED: Viggo Mortensen will be doing double duty at TIFF 2012

(Image: TIFF)
In his new Spanish-language flick Everyone Has a Plan, Viggo Mortensen pulls a Lindsay Lohan à la Parent Trap and plays a set of twins, one of whom assumes the other’s identity (we didn’t fully follow the trailer but apparently that’s what is going on). He also takes on the role of Old Bull Lee in another TIFF film, an adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road (which also stars Kristen Stewart). If you miss both those films, there’s still a chance to catch a glimpse of Mortensen in the flesh—it’s confirmed that he’ll be in town for the festival.
Ryan Gosling is a good kisser, according to award-nominating body MTV
Ryan Gosling received no major award noms (no Oscars, no Golden Globes) last year, but he’s in luck: MTV has announced that the Almighty Goz is up for three golden cups of popcorn at the MTV Movie Awards. He’s up for Best Male Performance and Best Gut-Wrenching Performance for Drive and Best Kiss for Crazy, Stupid, Love. Even if he does win Best Kiss with actress Emma Stone, his acceptance will likely seem inferior to his 2004 win for The Notebook with Rachel McAdams (Goz and McAdams even managed to shock wild girl Lindsay Lohan).
What do Conrad Black and Lindsay Lohan have in common? Permission to enter Canada
When Conrad Black leaves jail and his Mafia buddies behind at the end of the week, he’ll be welcomed back to Canada (or at least will be legally allowed to reside here), because the government has granted Black a one-year temporary resident permit. Not cool, says NDP leader Thomas Mulcair, who thinks “the British criminal Conrad Black” is getting special treatment since the country often denies permits to other foreigners with criminal pasts. (Though the Globe and Mail helpfully points out that Canada doled out 11,000 such permits last year, of which 6,500 were issued to people with criminal records). More compelling, or at least stranger, was Jonathan Kay’s argument in the National Post that Lindsay Lohan has had scads of run-ins with the law but didn’t have any issues being allowed into the country. We’re not sure it’s the same situation (Lohan was only here to film a movie, while Black likely plans to live in Toronto), but it makes us giggle to see Lilo and Baron Black of Crossharbour (can we call him CoBla?) occupying the same sentence. [National Post]
Is Rachel McAdams getting married in Paris?

Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams (Image: Anne-Christine/AFP)
In what Hollywoodlife.com is calling an exclusive, the site reports that Michael Sheen is planning to propose to Rachel McAdams very soon. A friend of Sheen’s reveals that “they both want to take their relationship to the next level. They are madly in love and want to start a family together.” The same friend says that since the famous couple met while filming Midnight in Paris, they want to get married in the city of love (aw, you guys!). This same source, who obviously has a very big mouth, also says he expects Sheen will invite his Twilight cast mates Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. If Mean Girls alums Tina Fey and Lindsay Lohan serve as minister and maid of honour, and Ryan Gosling gives McAdams away, this will be better than the royal wedding.
Recovering addict Lindsay Lohan is headed for the land of snow (specifically, Toronto)

Lindsay Lohan attends court on March 29 (Image: Getty Images Entertainment)
Hide your kids, hide your jewelry—Lindsay Lohan is coming to town. Despite two DUIs and a theft conviction, LiLo has been granted a Canadian work permit to film her made-for-TV Liz Taylor biopic in Toronto. Usually Immigration Canada isn’t a big fan of convicts, but we imagine exceptions are made when there’s $1.13 billion a year on the line. Officials signed off on Lilo’s permit hours after she completed her community service requirements yesterday, but we think they’re secretly hoping Emma Stone will show up instead.
50 Reasons to Love Toronto: No. 17, Malin Akerman is the city’s girl next door

(Image: George Pimentel)
If you don’t know her name, that’s because she’s not desperately shoving it down your throat. She doesn’t spend her evenings chugging vodka Red Bulls at Bar Marmont, she didn’t date Wilmer Valderrama and, last time we checked, she had only one paparazzi’d crotch shot on the Internet—and it was blurry. Chances are you know her work, though. Since stealing the spotlight as Katherine Heigl’s hottie sister in the 2008 rom-com 27 Dresses, Malin Akerman has scored big as the hilarious, impossibly gorgeous girl next door, building up a resumé most young actresses would hit the casting couch for, Lindsay Lohan included. Akerman got her biggest break yet when she was tapped to replace the uninsurable star in Inferno, a biopic about porn queen turned porn critic Linda Lovelace. At 32, the Toronto-bred Akerman is a little older and a lot wiser than Lohan and her ilk. She’s been married for four years (her husband is the Italian musician Roberto Zincone), and when you Google her, one of the first things that pops up is “Malin Akerman greens her home and neighbourhood school.” Not exactly the egomaniacal antics of a Hollywood hellion, and we’d like to think a wholesome Toronto upbringing had something to do with that.
Battle of the big-screen porn stars: Toronto’s Malin Akerman on replacing Lindsay Lohan
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Late last year, we found out that North Toronto C.I.’s own Malin Akerman would be starring as Linda Lovelace in Inferno, a big-screen, big-budget adaptation of the porn star’s life. The announcement (a big career boost for Akerman, who has thus far played mostly best friends and/or babe sister roles) came hot on the three-inch heels of word that the movie’s original star, Lindsay Lohan, had been dropped from the project because her wild child ways have made her all but uninsurable. (Or definitively uninsurable, depending on whom you believe.)
Malin Akerman replaces Lindsay Lohan in porno flick

Malin Akerman at this year's TIFF (Image: Karon Liu)
So much for Lindsay Lohan’s comeback. After much chatter that her forthcoming role as a 1970s porn star would prove her acting chops, she’s been booted off the film because of a prolonged stay in rehab. Her replacement: Ontario’s very own Malin Akerman. Akerman, who was in Toronto during TIFF to promote The Bang Bang Club with co-star Ryan Phillippe, was born in Sweden but grew up in Southern Ontario and attended York University. In Matthew Wilder’s Inferno, she’ll play Linda Lovelace (of Deep Throat infamy), who claimed her husband forced her into pornography.
• Lindsay Lohan’s ‘Inferno’ Replacement: ‘Couples Retreat’ Star Malin Akerman [PopEater]
On The Hype this week: toddler vs. Lindsay Lohan, Margaret Atwood sings in hockey musical, Toronto’s version of The Hills, Conan’s coming
For your weekend reading pleasure, here’s what happened on The Hype this week:
• How an Oakville toddler caused Lindsay Lohan’s latest scandal
• Toronto has its own version of The Hills, thanks to Jaclife
• She Does the City pisses off Kelly Cutrone via Twitter
• She Does the City takes the high road, apologizes to Kelly Cutrone
• The other, other Boleyn girl: Rachel McAdams is morphing into Scar-Jo
• Girlicious singer arrested for cocaine possession, will miss Toronto music festival
• Boredom brings Conan O’Brien to Massey Hall
• Two Robert Lepage productions coming to Toronto, both shorter than nine hours
• Oscar-winning film successfully mimics walking through Dundas Square
• Margaret Atwood to sing in Score: A Hockey Musical
How an Oakville toddler caused Lindsay Lohan’s latest scandal
To avoid litigation, we will make this post as clear as possible: Lindsay Lohan, an “actress,” “model” and “designer,” has been upset by what McAllister Kerr, an Oakville toddler, appears to have said in a television commercial (at left) for a large American financial services company. Mr. Kerr, it should be noted, did not utter anything slanderous about Ms. Lohan. However, through special visual effects, Mr. Kerr’s likeness is seen in a conversation that allegedly identifies a Lindsay as a “milkaholic,” presumably implying that said Lindsay frequently imbibes a substance called “milkahol.” As a result of the emotional strain inflicted on Ms. Lohan by the milkaholic allegations, she has exercised her constitutional right and launched a $100-million lawsuit against E-Trade, the maker of the television advertisement, which starred Mr. Kerr.
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Celebrities are out, Alexander McQueen label lives on, Tyra Banks tones down look
• Tabloids may need to cross fashion shows off their list of places to snap Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan throwing a hissy fit. There’s a noticeable dearth of celebrity presence at New York fashion week, in part because designers can’t afford to pay the costs (airfare, per diem, outfits) associated with having stars sit in the front row. But mainly, celebrities have become too stale in an industry that’s always on the hunt for what’s new. [New York Times]
• Alexander McQueen’s label will continue on without the designer, who committed suicide last week. McQueen had finished most of his fall collection, which will show during Paris fashion week. François-Henri Pinault, president of French luxury group PPR, said, “This would be the best tribute that we could offer to him.” [BBC]
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Lindsay Lohan as Jesus, Abercrombie store scares Japanese shoppers, Tavi talks back

Lilo's Purple cover
• Armani Exchange’s Share the Love Valentine’s Day campaign, which features steamy photos of same-sex couples, has angered the American Family Association, which expressed its displeasure on its Web site onemillionmoms.com. The organization, which aims to rid society of “filth,” calls the ads “poison” to children and urges other parents to “take a stand since A|X is one of the fashion leaders and this is becoming a popular trend.” We’re outraged—Armani Exchange is not a fashion leader. [The Cut]
• Controversial teen fashion blogger and Jeanne Beker stand-in Tavi Gevinson responded to the recent criticisms that have been levelled at her, her big hats and her parents. The gist? Bring it. “I’m going to New York on Saturday. I will be wearing some more hats. If you happen to be sitting behind me and you’d like to be able to see, just ask.” Let’s hope the Fashion Television cameras are rolling. [Style Rookie]
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Jimmy Choo Uggs, Sarah Jessica Parker designs for Halston, Tony Blair to become fashion exec

Tamara Mellon choo-choo chooses Uggs
• Jimmy Choo designer Tamara Mellon has joined the list of people who actually admit to owning Uggs (André Leon Talley and Cathy Horyn are also on it). In fact, Mellon loves the boots so much that she’s collaborating on the design of five styles of Jimmy Choo Uggs (Chuggs?) to be available in October for a whopping $595 to $795. [Fashionista]
• Tony Blair is in the final stages of negotiating a deal to join the French luxury goods powerhouse LVMH as an advisor. The group owns, among many other companies, Louis Vuitton, Celine, Givenchy, Marc Jacobs and a host of high-end alcohol brands. Blair is a close friend of LVMH head Bernard Arnault, and the pair is expected to work closely together to attract new clients. Now, if only Blair would advise his notoriously unfashionable successor on what to wear. [Huffington Post]
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The Necky is the new Snuggie, André Leon Talley to judge ANTM, Rachel McAdams’s Vogue cover, Dov Charney strikes again
• Rachel McAdams is on the cover of January’s Vogue, wearing floral print, a cardigan and a terrible hairdo. She’s a Toronto girl, so we’re full of pride, especially because Vogue covers tend to be reserved for the same few American and British celebs. But we can’t get over that hair, which has been described as Kate Gosselin–esque, and that’s never a good thing. [Lainey Gossip] Read the rest of this entry »
• Dov Charney is at it again. The mustachioed CEO of American Apparel is apparently telling staffers how to tweeze their brows. In an e-mail sent to employees, Charney attached a picture of a female with over-plucked eyebrows (in an AA store, no less) captioned “No”; also attached was a shot of the apparently more ideal Brooke Shields eyebrows, captioned with a “Yes.” One of the company’s employees is appalled at how the e-mail was directed at women, but really, beauty tips are pretty harmless compared to Charney’s other alleged exploits. [Jezebel]



