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VIDEOS: Last night’s best Rob Ford jokes from Stephen Colbert, Conan O’Brian and more

late-night-hosts-2A crack-smoking mayor is just too good to pass up. For the second night running, America’s late-night wisecrackers turned their attention northward: Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O’Brian, Jon Stewart and Craig Ferguson all had something to say about Canada’s most embarrassing elected official. Here, a compilation of the best quips.

Stephen Colbert in a five-minute segment on The Colbert Report“See, after a few beers, he’s just a social crack smoker. It’s like how some people only smoke cigarettes when they’re strung out on heroin. So he’s admitting to having a problem, but he’s not going to do anything rash—like something about it.”

Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy Kimmel Live, after airing a fake informational video titled “How to Tell if Your Mayor is Smoking Crack”:I just think it’s exciting to see that Chris Farley has been reincarnated as a politician.”

—Conan O’Brian on Conan: “The mayor was charged with being way too exciting for Canada. [...] Meanwhile, since he admitted to smoking crack, the mayor of Toronto’s approval rating has actually gone up. That’s true. So apparently, if your government healthcare system works, you can do whatever the hell you want.”

Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, on Ford’s shocking refusal to step down: “In light of his recent scandal Mayor Ford has looked deep within himself and decided, ‘Yeah, I’m good. I’m going to run for re-election.’ You know what, Mayor Ford? [...] You need help. And I don’t mean help carrying a case of beer into the basement so you can get drunk enough to smoke crack.”

Craig Ferguson in his opening monologue on The Late Late Show: “Mayor Ford said he smoked crack when he was in a ‘drunken stupor.’ Is that a defence? [...] I tried that excuse when I went to rehab. They’re like, ‘No, that’s not really an excuse, Craig. That’s a symptom of what you’ve got going on.”

  • blizzard789

    SNL is missing out – they are in repeat this weekend

  • Brian White

    No kidding. Imagine a super hero faction called “Big City Mayors” featuring Rob Ford, Kwamee Kilpatrick, Gerald Tremblay (Montreal) and their fearless leader, Marion Barry. They get pestered regular by their now-arch nemesis who tried to join the club, but was refused admittance…. Anthony Weiner.

  • Mattagami

    LOL!!! Great idea!

  • Bitekr

    i would still vote for him. crack or not he is way better major than Miller.

  • AVSVP

    You should be embarassed by the ridiculousness of that statement.

  • Kevin Mclean

    This is such funny shit! I like him, best mayor Toronto had for the last 30 plus years!

  • Bitekr

    it is not my business what he does in his spare time. If Trudeau can smoke pot and Giorgio Mammoloti snores coke and Liberal government add one billion dollars of debt to get seats in Oakville and Mississauga and don’t go to jail for that then I say Rob should stay in office

  • MICHAEL

    HE JUST PUT TORONTO ON THE MAP AND HE RUNS THE CITY PROPERLY

    NOT LIKE THE LIBERAL S WHO BLEW BILLIONS AND NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT?????????

    CRAZY CANADIANS

  • bko56

    I don’t condone what Mayor Ford
    did was right, yes he has personal issues, I have no doubt that he will
    overcome them, what upsets me the moist is when I read Comments that are thoughtless,
    idiotic and insulting remarks, about Mayor Ford, these Comments are usually posted
    by people with limited intelligence, and completely ignorant about politics and
    the boondoggles that go on at
    city hall, listen people do you really want
    a Union-loving fiscally – irresponsible and Egomaniacal David Miller style city
    hall.

  • http://twitter.com/NadineLumley Nadine Lumley Real

    Prime Minister Stephen Harper
    speaks at a BBQ held at Mayor Rob Ford’s family home in Etobicoke on Tuesday.

    Ford, who went fishing last month on Harrington Lake with
    Prime Minister Stephen Harper, said he would extend the invitation to the PM,
    adding although he did catch a big bass with the prime minister, “it wasn’t
    this big.”

    http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Politics/2011/08/03/18505266.html?cid=rssnewslast24hours

    2 min. long

    http://youtu.be/bI_0zjWJJis?t=25s

    -00-

  • http://twitter.com/NadineLumley Nadine Lumley Real

    And Mike Harris as well was behind Ford’s campaign (Rob
    Ford’s dad used to work for Mike Harris).
    With help from Guy Giorno, who happens to be Harper’s ex-Chief of Staff
    - and Guy Giorno used to be chief of
    staff to former Ontario premier Mike Harris.
    Guy Giorno was also the campaign manager in May 2011 during Harper’s
    infamous Robocall scanadal. Makes you go
    hmmmm.

    Are you starting to notice a neocon circle jerk going on
    here?

    http://www.thestar.com/News/Canada/article/428557

    -00-

  • Ronnyjoejimbob

    The saddest part is that none of these guys are actually funny. So much for night time talk tv.

  • Angie Mac

    Stewart was my favourite. Didn’t really find any of them to be incredibly funny.

    Then again, it could be because I’m living in the butt of the joke.

  • Notrade Marque

    Most of the attention, and the comments on various media, focus on crack smoking at the exclusion of everything else about this mayor.I mean, take his gross hypocrisy for example. At least the N. Post included an article referencing past statements which underline this- http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/05/17/if-they-have-to-dry-out-in-jail-great-backin-2005-ford-said-tough-love-is-the-only-way-to-battle-drug-use/#ooid=0zbWpwYjokA1qx_TLsDnMQwKYDA1NUhP

    I’m someone who likes neither Ford, or Miller before him, but have got to say, at least under Ford people are paying attention. But the same problems continue under Ford as Miller- transit, wholesale condo building (for ghosts- huge number remain empty) at the expense of neighbourhoods, infrastructure and good design standards. Policing. Poverty (ignored, under both). Labour (Miller locked out workers- comment below about him being friend to labour way off the mark).

  • saldebus

    Quite simply there are lots of better conservative candidates than Ford. He is an embarrassment to Conservatives everywhere.

  • Jodie Wilson

    He doesn’t have spare time. He’s not Mayor from 9 to 5 .. it’s a 24-7 job.

  • Kojo

    HE put Toronto on WHAT map? Are u freakin’ kidding me? You think Toronto was waiting for a drug abusing ignorant man like him to make to your recognition? If you don’t know what Toronto looks like then thats your deal but as a city it has a lot to boast more than Rob Ford. Geez.

  • Kojo

    Yes, that’s it. Let another one slide. That’s all we do in this world. Let the bullshitters lie their way into office and when they have the power and the money and start crapping on themselves we give them a free pass because they’re ‘not as bad as the last guy’. How about we start sending a signal to these assclowns that we are not going to take this crap from any of them anymore and start kicking them out when they screw up? Its called accountability and YOU face it every day on the street. How come they don’t have to?

  • Michelle Sweatpea

    You guys should add this toilet guy his videos on Rob Ford are freakin hilarious! http://youtu.be/D9KQJadYKu4

  • Barrett

    You might need a napkin for that moist

 

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