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The Top 10 Most Amazing Things About the Rob Ford Crack-Smoking Story (Assuming All Allegations Are True and All Videos Are Fully Authenticated)

Below, a countdown of the 10 craziest things about the Rob Ford crack-smoking brouhaha.

10. Gawker broke the story.

9. The Toronto Star, which sat on the story for two weeks then tripped all over itself to lay claim to it, did not.

8. Tom Scocca, the managing editor of Deadspin, is totally hilarious, especially when he’s calling out other Star “exclusives” (like breaking that whole 9-11 thing).

7. A Canadian news outlet made a lowball offer of $40,000 for the videotape that the Somali druglords rejected. Hmm.

6. Washington, D.C. is no longer the only North American city with a mayor who (allegedly) smokes crack.

5. The mayor’s lawyer uses Hotmail.

4. That same, semi-literate, Hotmail-loving lawyer also told the Toronto Sun: “I think unless one has experience in crack cocaine smoking it is very difficult to gauge what a person is actually doing in an alleged video.”

3. CNN’s intrepid Canadian reporter, rather than investigating the story, called Ford’s office asking about a crack tape, thereby alerting Ford’s cronies to the crack tape. Whoops.

2. Rob Ford doesn’t just snort lines of coke, as rich folk usually do, in the privacy of his own home. He smokes it, on video, at his dealer’s house.

1. The Mayor of Toronto might smoke crack!