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Four Weddings Canada, episode 12: one wasted bride and approximately 30 minutes of cleavage

Sara, Mattea, Michelle and Lori (Image: Four Weddings Canada)

Four Weddings Canada, Episode 12

On this week’s Four Weddings Canada, we meet rock and roll princess bride Sara—but more importantly, we meet her cleavage, which is in our face every few minutes or so. We also meet Lori, who presumably chose to be on a reality television show to share the “painfully romantic” story of how she and her husband met—she certainly didn’t go on the show to win a honeymoon, because her wedding takes place in what’s essentially a low-ceilinged basement. Add about 20 more shots of cleavage, a drunk bride (who actually admits she’s wasted), a bunch of roaming children and a bride who wants to eat everything (including the other brides and their children), and you’ve got this week’s episode.

Sara, age 33 (Budget: $40,000)
This cleavage-flaunting (your breasts were basically spilling out, lady) self-described “rock star princess” hates children, and she isn’t afraid to share that with the camera. She refers to Michelle’s children as her “wildest nightmare” and takes issue with the kids running around at Michelle’s reception. No big deal, though—apparently she plays a “mean air guitar.” If you’re a friend of Sara’s, you probably don’t have kids, because that would just be too great a burden on her.

Mattea, age 25 (Budget: $12,500)
Mattea has three children who are presumably in school, and yet she herself has no clue where Macedonia or Fiji are. What’s more alarming is that until she meets Macedonian bride Sara, she had no idea that Macedonia is actually a place, let alone a word. Blatant, face-palm stupidity aside, Mattea admits to being absolutely wasted at her wedding (“I have already won. I am wasted!”), and suggests that the trio of brides go for chicken wings after Lori’s basement-hosted hors d’oeuvres–only reception. In other words, she’s our kind of woman. She also has the gall to call out Michelle’s choreographer to the confessional cam (Michelle performs a dance at her reception with her flower girl and bridesmaids)—apparently Mattea ran into her in the washroom and she admitted to the catty bride that the group had performed the routine incorrectly. Me-ow!

Michelle, age 27 (Budget: $27,000)
Michelle just wants everyone to have a good time, and therefore she is incredibly boring to watch on a reality TV show.

Lori, age 43 (Budget: $3,500)
She’s certainly the episode’s “aw, shucks” mom type, since she says things like “hoochie” in reference to Sara’s exposed décolletage. She also says she wants to eat a child, in that cutesy, “gosh darn, you’re just so cute, I want to eat you” sort of way, before declaring that Mattea looks like marzipan in her wedding dress (this time, making an eating sound to indicate that she’d like to eat her). Besides being hungry in a vaguely cannibalistic way, Lori won’t shut up about how precious her history with her soon-to-be husband is, to a point where we suspect that she just went on the show to prove to herself—and everyone else—that her life and love story is special. Share that with your friends, Lori, not us.

For outing Michelle as being ill-equipped to memorize a short dance routine, we award bride Mattea with this week’s Head Bitch in Ceremony. (Chicken wings, later?)

(Oh, and Mattea won the honeymoon.)

  • Mattea Marcoux

    I love it!

  • Beverly Johnston

    The head bitch was my niece. Way to go Mattea!!

  • Angie Adams

    Love watching this show!!

    I thought for sure Michelle’s wedding would have placed first or second. Kind of disappointed in the results.
    Fun to watch though

  • Vanessa

    Michelle’s wedding was by far the best!!
    The video her husband made for her was fantastic.
    way to go Michelle

  • Ali

    That dress that sara had looked homemade i must agree, also I will say her dress was awlful it looked to me as if she going to club she looked so skanky I was discusted, I dont understand why sara would want to look like a whore on national television it only reflects on herself though.

  • no name tonight

    unfortunately, this episode is not worth commenting about. Very disappointing.

  • Ria

    THe very best wedding won and i am very happy about that! Maybe Sara thought her boobs would help her win, yeah right. She was too hoochie! So glad that Lori did not win: really, what’s up with the locale?

  • Jenn

    Does anyone know what venue Michelle got married at?


  • Mattea

    Thank you Ria!!!

  • Mattea

    Michelle was married at Ceasar’s Palace in Toronto. Not sure of exact locale.

  • sara

    Well “Ali” you sound like a FAT,UGLY,BITTER, broad that’s SO spiteful that she looks the way she does!!! Don’t hate the dress cause you “DON”T HAVE THE BODY TO WEAR IT”!!! ;-D (I met u @ 1 of the weddings…I know!) ;-)

  • sara

    And the rest of you jealous bitches LOVE 2 HATE ME!!! ;-D

  • Nikita

    Is that a snake in the far left of that picture?

  • mich

    Ummm no one is jelous of you sara haha your a joke!

  • Amanda

    Whoaaaaaa ladies! Put those claws away!
    I hope that all you ladies on here are in high school, because that would be the only way this behaviour would somewhat be acceptable.
    You all sound like caddy teenage girls. Grow up! Don’t you have something better to do with your lives then to hate on an innocent girl just because she had some cleavage…. Like REALLY, just because she had some cleavage showing she’s a whore now?! Come on! That has jealousy written ALL over it if you ask me!
    Everyone is an individual. We all have different styles, taste in clothes, and so on. We all express ourselves in different ways.
    Who are YOU to judge her on her style?! Just because you don’t agree wit it, doesn’t give u the right to bash her! She’s not out to please you! I think she looked HOT! And it takes a certain person to be able to pull off an outfit like that! And she did an excellent job @ that!
    You “women” should be ashamed of yourselves. Really!

    All of you sound like idiots. Find somethin better to do with your lives!

    You all give mature and classy women like us a bad name!

    We all have sexy bodies and we should show them off. Regardless of ur shape, size, colour, WHATEVER!

    The show is over and done with. The best person one. Move ON!

  • mich

    CLASSY WOMEN? You are not classy at 34 or 35 dressing like your ready to whore yourself out. Classy my ass.

  • snow white

    Your right we should not comment about Sara, she is nothing special; but she thinks she is. she thinks we’re all jealous because of her looks. Little does she know the beauty within comes out and no matter how beautiful you are outside, your inner beauty will come out. That is what every one is seeing; her ugly inner beauty. It really doesn’t have anything to do with what she wore.

  • Amanda

    @ snow white…. You are right. It shouldn’t have anything to do with her looks. Its all about inner beauty…but I’m POSITIVE that everyone on here bitching and complaining about sara don’t even know her. Its clearly hatred. No one had ANYTHING to say about her personality or what’s within. Everyone is picking on her because of some breasts.

    And also…u CANNOT get to know a person for who they really are just from a couple mins here and there @ a wedding.
    So don’t try and act like its all about who she is. That’s a load of SHIT. Trying to justify your childish actions by claiming you know her. HA
    If you did, I’m sure you’d have NOTHING to say.

    And MICH… Why you sound so angry?! Hahhahahahahaha. You hate your life or something?! Is that why your hating on someone because she wanted to impress her man?! It was ALL for her man. NOT for you, or anyone else.
    We should praise her for continuing to keep things exciting between her and her man, even on their wedding day.

    But seriously. Ppl who sit on these things criticizing ppl clearly are lacking something in their own lives, or are bored with their lives. Because if you were content with your life, you wouldn’t care to judge other ppl and their decisions. You would just be focusing on yourself and happy you are.

    Again. Get a LIFE.

  • Amanda

    Oh and one more thing MICH. They way your acting/sounding on this thing… Has me convinced that you don’t have an OUNCE of class yourself.

    Classy women know when to SHUT UP and mind their own business. Instead of stooping down to the level of caddy high schoolers.

  • Methinks

    …gonna watch Bridesmaids again. Way more entertaining.

  • sara

    Wow Amanda you really sound like a “CONFIDENT” & “SECURE” lady! That is soo refreshing to see these days! With all these insecure, catty, miserable little chicken-heads running around you rarely come across a CONFIDENT WOMEN like you! ;-))
    & Ms. Amanda we need more MATURE, CONFIDENT WOMEN like YOU in this world! ;)

  • sara

    And Amanda you are a 100% right!!!! ;-D

  • snow white

    Amanda??? Are you sure you’re not Sara pretending to be Amanda? She sure gave Toronto life a good impression!!!. And Sara get over your cleavage, no one cares and you keep throwing it around.

  • Hands up

    Totally over rated, inner beauty lasts longer

  • lara

    sara is a bum get off the crack

  • no name


  • Amanda

    I’m definitely NOT Sara. Haha

  • sara

    LMFAO!!! ;-D
    You people are PATHETIC! Get over “ME” already & move on with ur pathetic little lives!!!

  • Snow White

    Sara your comments towards ppl who wrote in:

    -you sound fat, ugly. bitter, so spiteful you look the way you do
    -you don’t have the body to wear it
    -you love to hate me
    -stop obsessing over my beautiful cleavage and move on with you pathetic lives.

    This sounds like you have a “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”

    Most often people think of narcissists as very confident individuals. This observation often changes with time, to viewing the individual as being arrogant; someone who brags about their accomplishments in an exaggerated fashion. People involved with the narcissistic person often realize that the bragging or attention-seeking belies an insecurity that can never be bolstered adequately, no matter how much ego support the narcissist receives from others.

    Being with an individual with a narcissistic personality for any length of time often induces feelings of insecurity, or the feeling that one is subtly being put-down, competed with, somewhat devalued. This is due to the narcissist’s inability or refusal to see others as having as much value as they do. If others had as much value as the narcissist, then that would make them equal. This is unacceptable to narcissists because they have a pathological need to be seen as special, out of the ordinary, deserving of adoration. Winning is a must. Losing is not simply a matter of ‘win some-lose some’; it is a personal affront.

    In relationships the narcissist appears unable or unwilling to validate or attend to others, and appears to not even notice that others have similar, (though less intense) needs for recognition, validation, nurturing. It has been described in the literature as the narcissistic individual feeling as if there is not enough admiration or attention to go around, so it must be grabbed up as often as can be done. Also seen is the increased need by the narcissist for attention and adulation as s/he ages. The partner of the narcissist often feels that the nurturing they supply is not mutual and the partner becomes ‘used up’ by the narcissist

  • Kaz

    Does anyone know what Mattea’s reception venue was?

  • Jennifer

    I thought that Sara on this episode looked like a stripper or a hooker or something. My God, she looked so trashy on her day. And she really thought she was something as she was looking down at her boobs when she walked into the reception area. Ewww Gross

  • Mattea

    Kaz my venue was The “C” Hotel by Carmen’s in Hamilton (it is a Luxury Boutique Best Western!