On episode six of Canada’s Got Talent, the judges head to Halifax and finish up their deliberations in Vancouver. Seeing as we’re six episodes into the series, can we cut the introductions to the judges? Host Dina Pugliese still introduces every judge by rote—we understand the live audience needs this sort of introduction, but it is tiresome for the television broadcast. We get our weekly dose of Pugliese fawning over Martin Short, this time avowing, “everything he touches turns to comedic gold” (obviously she hasn’t seen The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause); Measha Brueggergosman thinks the winner will come from Halifax (she hails from Fredericton, New Brunswick, which is close enough, we guess), she shows off her French-speaking skills, and her always-tall hair grows even larger on the East Coast; and Stephan Moccio, not to be outdone on the hair front, slicks back his curly mop in Vancouver into a Patrick Bateman–style do. And, as always, we get to witness plenty of dancing by the fun-loving judges and host—at this point, we think the producers are including their moves because they make us cringe.
Francelle Maria and Mathieu Leger are a yodeling couple that met in New Brunswick—Francelle yodels while Mathieu strums the guitar. Though we’d argue the toughest job is Francelle’s (she could out-yodel any Swiss Miss), Mathieu’s increasingly fast fingers on the guitar should get some accolades too. Naturally, since she’s a pretty lady, Short makes a half-hearted come on, asking her what she’s doing later.
Ivan Daigle is a singer who works in a call centre. His voice is like a gravelly, even more scotch-soaked Don Draper, and it titillates Brueggergosman: “I wouldn’t hang up on you right away,” she says. Despite being a song about Alzheimer’s and schmaltzier than “Christmas Shoes,” we’re excited to see him move on to the next round (the man can sing).
Jeffrey “Mr. Fantastik” Wood has an awful nickname, but he has all the right moves. He spins bowls and performs acrobatic flips, all the while wearing a bright Jamaican flag–coloured mesh weave tank top. We’re not sure what Jeffrey will do next (spinning a bowl with a candle and a wine bottle in your mouth is a tough act to top), but we look forward to seeing him try.
Troy Ward comes out on stage in a modified Canadian tuxedo—dark denim vest and Capri length jeans—and sings a gut-wrenchingly bad version of “Everybody Dance Now.” We’ve got to give him props for his concentration and sartorial choices, but his bad singing and goal of wanting to be famous “simple as that” turned us off (everyone in the room was chanting for the judges to give the dreaded X). Besides, doesn’t he know the best way to get famous and produce a bad album is to leverage a career with a sex tape?
Ronnie “The Dancer” Alampour got his start like all ingénues in dance films: in the clubs. First going once a week, then up to four times, he strutted his stuff to “Maniac.” His worst move may be his not-quite-the-splits splits, but the windmill kick and one-handed push-ups are definitely in the running. Ronnie, unfortunately, is not.