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One mom’s maddening search for childcare in a city where the daycare shortage is beyond critical

Take my kids, please! | Quote

In Davisville Village and other upper-middle-class neighbourhoods, most working parents of two or more children are managing with the help of a nanny. For those of us who can’t afford or accommodate a nanny, there are daycares. When childcare experts assess a daycare system, they look at its accessibility (price), availability (number of spots) and quality. Toronto’s system—a contradiction in itself—fails on all counts.

The umbrella term “childcare” covers many kinds of arrangements, but the most fundamental distinction is between unregulated childcare—all private arrangements such as grannies, nannies and private home daycares—and regulated care licensed by the province under the purview of the provincial Day Nurseries Act. Within the regulated world, there’s a further subcategory of childcare centres that have purchase-of-service agreements with the city, which means they’re licensed to accept subsidized kids. Beyond that, there are the 52 daycares run by the city.

In Ontario, regulated childcare is available to 12 per cent of families. Given that approximately 80 per cent of Ontario mothers work, the vast majority of children spend their days in unregulated situations. These are not necessarily bad, but they are—as the term suggests—subject to no official oversight or quality control.

Unlicensed home daycares are popular in this city, and new ones are popping up like mushrooms in our most reproductive neighbourhoods. Most don’t need to advertise or have websites; a little sign and word of mouth do the trick. Given the huge demand, home daycare operators are sometimes tempted to take in more than their permitted capacity of five children. Once they do, they’re not only unregulated, but also illegal.

The public is only made aware of these places when something goes wrong. Sometimes things go horribly wrong—as in the case of 14-month-old Duy-An Ngyuen, who died as a result of injuries suffered in an unlicensed home daycare in Mississauga in 2011. (The owner, April Luckese, has been charged with failing to provide the necessities of life and criminal negligence causing death.) And sometimes things go minorly wrong, as in an infamous biting incident at a Riverdale home daycare in April 2007 that went unnoticed by staff and landed a toddler in hospital. In the investigation that followed, owner Gloria DeMelo was found to be caring for more than 25 children, five times the legal limit.

Parents find themselves in a royal pickle when their daycare is shut down overnight. They must also contend with a serious burden of shame and guilt. I spoke to several parents whose daycares were breaking the rules, all of whom requested anonymity, and their lines of defence were similar: we had no idea and/or we had no choice. One Riverdale mother’s scenario was typical: her nine-month-old baby had been on at least three daycare waiting lists since conception, and one month before the mother had to return to work, she still had no spot. Of course she was overjoyed to discover friendly Gloria around the corner, whose daycare seemed cheery, safe and, at $50 a day, moderately priced.

Not that anyone should assume a licensed daycare is by definition a good one. In August 2011, three toddlers at the Markham Village Childcare Centre wandered off the playground through an open gate and made their way across a parking lot to the neighbouring Shoppers Drug Mart. When store managers contacted the daycare, staff seemed not to have noticed the children’s absence. Video surveillance cameras showed three staff on the playground, one on a cellphone and the other two chatting with each other, as three of the 11 toddlers they were supposed to be super­vising sallied forth. Not only did that childcare have a licence, it had won the Markham Economist and Sun’s readers’ choice award for best daycare the previous year.

Studies have demonstrated time and again that parents are poor judges of the quality of daycare programs. Their top criteria—understandably—are location, price and scheduling compatibility. Few think to ask about staff turnover, salaries or professional development opportunities, factors that correlate closely with quality. A recent study that looked at 1,000 children at 100 childcare centres across Toronto revealed that parents stayed an average of 62 seconds when dropping their kids off in the morning. Most parents have little idea what goes on at their daycare centres.

Toronto’s daycare environment is a delicious cocktail for the private sector: a market where demand far exceeds supply, where most customers (parents) don’t know what they’re purchasing but want the very best of whatever it is and are willing to pay a lot for it. For-profit centres exploit these vulnerabilities, emphasizing curriculum, presenting themselves as safe homes away from home and wowing adults with amenities that make absolutely no difference to children. What three-year-old cares if the chair she’s sitting on is eight years old or brand new? If the muffins are made with all-purpose flour or Fairtrade spelt? One fast-growing commercial daycare chain in Toronto is Peekaboo. Its trademark is its Internet video link, which enables parents to watch their children in the centre throughout the day.

This isn’t to say that for-profit childcare is by definition a scam. There are some excellent private childcare centres in Toronto, a blessing to those who can afford them. But with the profit motive at play, there’s a temptation to cut corners, and the first corners to be cut are generally staff salaries.

  • cathie

    Reading stories like this one confirms my choice to remain childless the smartest decision I ever made in my entire life. Nearly all of the mother’s salary went towards child care? Good lord, just stay at home with them, then.

  • Ana Bonilla

    I like the fact that this article brings awareness to a such troubling issues regarding quality care. Parents don’t spend enough time getting to know the facilities their children spend most of their life in. I was surprised to hear little tots manor is mentioned as great place. I personally know of a person that quit working there after three weeks due to their constant “bending” of rules. I also have friends that have children currently attending a city run jessie ketchum daycare and can actually feel they can go to work worry free. I only hope that when it’s my turn to look for care I can find a great place.

  • Chantal

    Yes Cathie, because god forbid she might actually like her career and not want to give it up… That isn’t possible, is it?

  • Lisa

    I can’t believe how bad the situation is in this province, yet I know it is exactly this horrendous and perhaps more so. I haven’t kids of my own, but my siblings do and it is a good thing that all are now in grade school. Here I was, just this past summer, fully appalled at the cost of day camps and overnight summer camps, and now I see that they are a bargain in comparison to daycare.
    How is a single parent ever able to earn enough money to pay for daycare and still afford transit, rent, and other living expenses. I can see why people like “cathie” would think that staying home is a better option. But how does one pay for rent and food when not working, are we to assume everyone has a spouse or parent to take them in and support an entire family.
    If parents must make the choice between social assistance, food-banks, and welfare vs. work and daycare, we all lose as a society. Not only are valuable members of our workforce going to disappear, but we will all be paying more to care for families on the dole. I think staying home and caring for your own children is a luxury in this day and age, and not every parent is cut out for what can be an often socially isolating and frustrating block of years.
    It must be said that it is therefore a luxury to be able to work and have reliable, affordable, and quality child care options. It is decidedly un-Canadian, that is for certain, and we can and must do better.

  • margarets

    Staying home to look after your children wasn’t a luxury just a generation or two ago. It was the norm. The reason: One income was enough to raise a family – an average income, not a high one.

    THAT is the elephant in the room, that TWO incomes are now necessary for a family to just make it.

  • margarets

    And another thing: a childcare system, national or provincial or what have you, is really just a system of ensuring there is a supply of people (women) willing to work for not-great wages to look after someone else’s kids. I find that a bit classist. Why should there be such a supply just so parents can continue their (comparatively better-paying) careers without interruption?

  • Parker

    This place that won’t change diapers — I would guess that’s not a true daycare. What on earth is the point of placing your child with a caregiver who won’t take on all of those child’s needs? What if you weren’t available when the call came through to come change the diaper? It seems absurd and wholly pointless to offer such “child care” — my quote marks are deliberate.

  • Kelly

    Talk about irony! I’m on the Board of my son’s great little not-for-profit daycare in Swansea and we actually have space available and good rates, including subsidy. Do you think we could get the word out about the fact that we have open spaces to take children? That’s been our biggest challenge. Although we try to stay on top of the City’s listings, they are perpetually behind in being able to update availability for individual daycare, which makes the work for parents looking, all the harder. Something really needs to change with the system – hopefully by the time my grandchildren need childcare.

  • cathie

    Yes, Chantal,I understand completely that this woman may not want to give up her job. And it is crazy that all her income was/is going towards child care – so she can work. But if that’s the way things are for this family, then they need to take a good look at how they’re spending their money – because spending all your income on childcare is just plain stupid. Wrt mom’s staying home a generation ago, well, a lot of that has to do with the fact that people were happier with less back then. No two cars, no vacations, no big houses, etc. We are far more materialistic nowadays and for some families, that means Moms and Dads are both working when in fact if they would make do with less, one of them could probably stay home. They just choose not to.

  • margarets

    Sorry, cathie, but it’s not that people are more materialistic now. Real incomes (i.e. adjusted for inflation) have been dropping since the 1970s. Even a 1950s lifestyle (modest house, one car, rarely eating out, etc) is unaffordable for the average one-income family now. On the average single income today, a family of four is *poor*. Like, food bank poor.

  • Mary Catherine

    We had heard how stressful this matter is for the adults. Are there any thoughts or reflections on how this affecting the children?

  • Richard

    What dim witted folks fail to appreciate, when denigrating those who spend all their income on childcare, are the hidden financial benefits of working, that tip the balance in favor of working, notwithstanding that income= cost of childcare. The longer you work, the work you reap in CPP. The fewer interruptions in career= greater probability of advancement and likely more job security. It’s not all about the present day calculation, run the long term math before you jump tp the conclusion that working is I’ll-advised.

  • Tiffany

    I am a stay at home mom of 2 kids. It is very possible to do it on one income, it is all about what you choose is important. My husband an I have chosen not to have a car and to live in the city close to his work. This enables us to have lots of time as a family.

    I agree with Cathie, we are living a lifestyle now that a decade ago would have seemed luxurious, but is now the norm.

    My point being, it is possible to stay at home with kids and not make sacrifices. It really is about what is important, our kids.

  • Diana

    In the GTA, children are absolute luxuries and should be budgeted that way. You are quite likely to afford a decent house, to stay home and/or afford daycare in a much smaller community. We all want it all and spend too much time complaining when we can’t get it. While I think more government funding should be allocated to child care, I don’t need to pay for your children to be minded while you pursue your life. Making the sacrifice to parent involves more than waiting in line overnight for daycare.

  • Sharon Gregson

    In BC we are trying to have government (or whomever will be government after the May 2013 provincial election) implement the Community Plan for a Public System of Integrated Early Care and Learning – commonly known as the $10/day Child Care Plan.

    - Fees for parents will be capped at $10/day
    - More licensed spaces will be built.
    - Wages and education for workers will rise.
    - School Boards will be responsible for governance.

    This Plan is a solution to the current child care crisis in BC – please go to to add your name to the list of supporters.

  • Sally

    I hold 2 university degrees and left a successful career that I loved to stay at home with my 2 children. My husband does not make a massive salary, but we made sacrifices to make ends meet. We do not expect the government, or anyone else, to pay for our children’s care.

    You choose to have 2 kids, it is the 2 parents who brought them into this world’s responsibility to look after them.

    Yes, there are income levels where you may need 2 people earning to bring in enough to make ends meet, but we have to be realistic about needs and wants. It has been my experience that most families could get by on one income, if they choose to live frugally and go without $300 dance lessons for a toddler & 2 trips to Mexico each year.

    The article doesn’t address the fact that many families who are on their 2nd parental leaves take up these ever so precious day care spots because they leave the older sibling in day care while they are off. If all parents took care of all their children over their 12 months of leave a large percentage of day care spots would open up.

    It also amazes me that the discussion assumes mothers/fathers want to be in the paid work force and not supported in their choice to stay home, or that they are some how more valuable to Canadian Society if they are paid to work each day. There is no value placed in parents choosing to look after their own children.

    In my opinion, a national day care policy says that outsourcing the nurturing of the next generation is better done by an institution than the children’s own parents. That I’m not valued or respected as a stay at home parent.

    You choose to have children, with that comes financial burden and life sacrifices. We all have to choose what we want to make a priority. For some it is worth it to take a pause from the work place to stay at home, others choose to pay for the child care. But it is about choice, and respecting others for their choices and not complaining when the reality of your choices sets in.

    You can have it all, you just can’t have it all at once.

  • margarets

    Tiffany, exactly how much is the single income your family lives on?

    Sally, could you explain how a family could live on a single $18/hr income (which many do, and that is well above minimum wage) without being poor? What “choices” should they be making in order to manage that?

  • Stephanie Perry

    We were blessed with spontaneous twins in 2009 and I dutifully walked across the street and signed up for the daycare located inside our public school. The thought that my kids would be 2 1/2 one day seemed like a lifetime away and I naively figured that the kids would surely be attending in the fall of 2012. I began my ‘just touching base’ phone calls this past spring and was horrified to learn that there still weren’t spots available. I phoned over 15 local daycares and was told that there was simply no way that they could accommodate us. We’ve been working with a wonderful nanny since I went back to work but I feel like they need to transition to the structure and environment of a child care facility. I was also looking forward to the $1500/month savings vs a nanny’s salary. The next phase of my search led me to Montessori. We were immediately wooed by the school – how could you not be? But once all fees are considered we’re still at $3000/month for child care. I understand that it is an extreme luxury versus the challenges faced by other families to be whining about these costs. There goes another 2 years from any RRSP contributions, 2 more years of minimal mortgage payments and 2 more years of living frugally. I wonder when we’ll have a government smart enough to sit down and work out the loss to the economy by continuing to give the impression that they’re too lazy to sort this out.

  • jalut

    Thanks for the wonderful and detailed article. Some if not most comments here bother me quite a bit as they don’t consider the arguments made in the article and elsewhere, never mind trying to be objective…Makes me wonder if some of you even read the entire article? (Or any other of the many sources that list an abundance of reasons for a publicly funded, universal child care program (not only for parents but for society as whole, including, not last, the economy),,...)
    I recently moved to Germany with an infant and while I would like to return to Ontario and return to my job there, I don’t think I can afford it until my child reaches school age…that just feels wrong…

  • Annabanana

    My husband make 104k and I stay with my child because daycare is still too expensive for me to go out and work at $20/hr. It used to be that you could provide for your child all ou want while being able to return to work as your creativity needed. Now six figure is laughable for a family income…What’s a bored mother to do with a toddler who needs to interact with other kids?

  • Annabanana

    Very good argument Sally. I’m not quite in your situation yet, but there are perks to staying with the kids. It just doesn’t include monetary or the insurance of having a job if your husband leaves you. I’m somewhat at the mercy of my parents, husband and in laws support because I don’t have the option to be independent enough to do it on my own; but then again would I really want to?

  • catq

    @Cathie, no matter what responsibility you have in life, there will be challenges…and much of it you can’t control. One day your parents will get old, God forbid that you will have to pay for someone to take care of them, put them in extendicare, or take care of them yourself. What will you do? disown them?
    Do you Have a pet? What happens when they get sick, need to stay somewhere when you are gone…whatever?
    The writer of this article got over a hurdle. Good for her. I’m glad she didn’t think…I shouldn’t have had kids….
    You will have personal challenges along the way as well – in your personal and work life..lets hope you don’t think you should never have existed. God bless.

  • catq

    @Annabanana, There are lots of free drop in centers all around the city. Your child will have the chance to interact with kids and so will you.

  • bruixa

    When I found out I was pregnant I went to all the daycares within my house and job and signed up my baby. They don’t even let you look at the place before they know there is a spot which was my first shock- the second was the cost. The only one I got to see was the CityKids daycare; the one the author mentions. I’m sorry but even though the building is not bad, it’s close to the pig slaughterhouse and those smells are foul. Also when I visited the caregivers were just sitting with the kids. Some were playing on their own but nothing organized, no activities-and the place charges about $2,000 a month! If I was to go back to work, I wanted a place where they would learn, be stimulated, not just a drop-off. Not everyone is made for full-time parenting;some parents are better parents when they have a job to go to, when they interact with others. By the time I got off my 1 -yr mat leave there were still no spots, so my husband took 2 month of parental leave (unpaid), Finally, we got a private home daycare, a Montessori teacher who had decided to put her own place. It is wonderful! My baby is so stimulated and it’s only 5 children. But now she has decided to close the daycare and we’re in the same predicament! The Westside Montessori school has spots but is asking for the whole cost upfront! Then there is another place called Discovering Minds, they are in the licensing process, wonderful place but it’s been a year and they are still waiting for the license! It’s crazy to go through such stress!

  • Zoltar

    Unfortunately, the majority of you continue to vote for the Conservative government and hence Canada’s third major attempt at a national child care program was cancelled by the them.
    If you would just wake up and really take the time to research what each party stands for and how it will affect your life, you probably wouldnt be in the predicament you are in now.

  • MTC

    Why wouldn’t the city seize the opportunity to open more daycares, generate more revenue and address the needs of the people in this city?!?

  • V Taylor

    We just recently had our second child, and the job of accomodating two children into daycare has become a logistical nightmare. Our daycare is wonderful, the staff is excellent, however it is 30 minutes away and very much outside our neighbourhood. In order to assure a spot for both our kids, our oldest son will have to start kindergarten 30 minutes outside his neighbourhood, nevermind how this affects our day to day logistics.
    I have very seriously considered not returning to work as sometimes I think it is the only way to ensure that my children get proper family time. I love my job, and would have difficulty pulling the reins on my career, but unless our work structures and national childcare policy change to accommodate two working parents, women or men cannot yet adequately balance both family life and career. Would I sacrifice having a second car, bigger house, and expensive vacations for time to make and enjoy family dinners and be involved in both my children’s and husband’s daily lives?
    Sadly, we need cars, bigger houses, and expensive vacations to keep up to pace and maintain our sanity while we scurry off to achieve what may be unachieveable….

  • Tee

    Great article. We were lucky enough to find a private religious daycare. While it wasn’t always amazing – there was some staff turnover and some growing pains – our child left there after 3 years enriched, educated, happy, secure and with many friends. Because it is a community run daycare there is a lot of parental interaction – which i think is the key to a well run program. If the parents are frequently seen and involved, everyone is better for it.

    And for the high and mighties who think that everyone should stay home with their children – are you suggesting mothers or fathers? Some mothers like myself lack the creativity and oomph to be an ECE…thus i felt it better that my son – after 13 months – was better put in the hands of professionals. Is that so wrong to think that a social atmosphere is better than a world of a bored mother? Many societies believe in and depend on community raising of children – i happen to be one of them!

  • Jen

    I have chosen not to have children because I enjoy my career very much and in the city children are very costly and I’m not willing to have to pick and chose in terms of my children or my life. That being said, well I think everyone has the right to make these decisions for themselves, I do not want to pay for daycare subsidy. I’m happy to pay more taxes for healthcare and transit but not the choice that you decided to make for you that has nothing to do with me. Pay for your own childcare, stay at home or don’t have children to begin with.

  • Jammer

    To Jen

    Let me say this, I am more than willing to pay for daycare (if I could afford the $1200 it would cost me to have both of my children in daycare. Or I could quit my job and stay at home and go on assistance which the taxpayers would be paying for. Oh wait I am a taxpayer and have been one for a very long time. I also enjoy my career very much and went back to School as a single Mother so that I could show my children the value of being a working citizen. So sorry if my childcare subsidy offends you, and my trying to teach my children the value of school and employment is a huge burden to you. I unfortunately do not make $40, 000 per year let alone $100, 000 plus but I do work my ass off everyday so that I can provide for my children. If I ask for a bit of help seeing how I am a taxpayer I think that’s fair

  • Vancouverite

    Here’s my opinion when it comes to the daycare crisis and also that of the housing affordability issue.

    No one deserves to live in Toronto. Toronto and Vancouver are expensive cities. There are much cheaper alternatives in more rural areas.

  • Bernie

    It would be lovely to have a national daycare program as they do in many European countries. But let’s reflect for a moment on reality. The European economies are not necessarily in great shape and continue to fund programs that put them greater in debt. I don’t hold them up as great examples. Unfortunately, it comes down to money. In order to create a national program, the government needs to come up with the money. With the baby boomers all retiring and healthcare costs skyrocketing, we are at a breaking point already caring for the elderly and infirm. Where do you think they can find money for a national childcare program. Oh, I know….raise everyone’s taxes. Beyond that, there is no other real solution.

  • Jen2

    Jen, you view producing children as a luxury. I won’t say anyone deserves a medal for it, but in order for our society to continue, we require new entrants to the economy. It can’t all be covered by immigrants or robots, so a lot of it is provided by people who used to be children in this country. Just who do you think will be paying for your health care when you are old and infirm? Not your children, because you didn’t have any. It will be my children, who by then will be tax paying adults. Enjoy your choice, it’s my children who will be paying for it.

  • Kat

    Jen, those children will be our future doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers ect. The people who will be taking care of you in your old age and paying taxes toward your pension. It is ignorant people like you that make for a broken society. All you see is yourself and not the bigger picture. Just because you choose not to have your own children doesn’t mean you have no role to play in the future of the children within your society! Does this mean you also have a problem paying taxes for public education? Only the rich should have access to an education? Wow!

  • reedy red

    I think it is important to understand the root cause of the problem here.

    Why is everyone so into finding childcare specialists for their kids. This has become the norm in this western society nowadays. I am not biased but you guys need to put a lot of thought into this. I see several scenarios and this is what I think about this issue.

    1) Need two incomes, consider the long term impact of your decision:
    I understand if both the parents need to work to meet their ends. That’s a sincere reason for women to go to work but what I try hard to comprehend is there are plenty of families, where one person income is just sufficient but still women from these households do not want to take care of their kids for various reasons ( incl…being career minded, bored just looking after kids and sadly some feel that their working peers may consider them low)

    Ultimately, just imagine the long term social consequences; its the kids who suffer. These kids are under someone else’s care for 8 to 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, entire year and are unfortunate, that they get to interact with their mums (if they are lucky) only mostly during the weekends. They aren’t brought up with their mother and their siblings and tend to not have a great attachment and when this grows into adulthood what do they do…..well they go in search of something similar to motherly love and this leads them to the need to have fun and eventually the wrong type of fun i.e. drugs, violence, teen pregnancies, womanizing and eventually depression creating a vicious circle…all this and mum is still busy breaking her head thinking about her day at work (don’t get me wrong but this happens quite a lot in this part of the world). Eventually, the family comes to know and then the father blames the mother and the mother quarrels with the dad and they file for divorce (I am giving you the high-level picture, since I can’t be typing the entire scene here).

    The key to this is to be content, to be satisfied with whatever your husband brings home and women should give priority to maintaining a healthy family. After all, what’s the point of your extra money, if you ppl don’t find peace and happiness at home.

    Too much emphasis is placed today on the economy and less faith in God, that’s what I can see in the Christian world today. They are not sure or certain about their future, they want a perfect plan and a future and they don’t believe that God would take care of their affairs and they feel left alone! These ppl are usually very depressed when they hear the slightness of the economic downturn.

    Women who are very career minded, what’s your ultimate goal. See you go out of the country to further your career leaving your husband and family behind and to see what happens. Yes, you have gone ahead in your ladder but your husband has also gone ahead in his relationship. What happens next: a broken house!!! Welcome to a single family/parenting..

    What you have to really consider is what is the purpose of this life, and what is that truly makes you happy…work is man made, but life is god made. Without doubt, you all want a happy life…work towards it. Earning more is not necessarily going to take you there but building trust, understanding and love is what makes a life! Its sad that modern women aren’t actually modern in their thoughts but they are good at following the norm.

    2)Regarding stay-at-home mums-Yes, you may not be the all-round ECE teacher for your kids but that doesn’t mean you have to leave your kids to someone else almost 24/7. Send them to kindergarten but may be part-time will work better for you and them.

    3) Those who think it is a wise decision not to have kids-I think you guys are totally messed up! You guys are young now but you are going to really suck yourselves when you come to that age where you will be seeing your neighbors grandchildren play.

    I am sorry, if I had offended anyone but I put in my thoughts because I really felt people needed to think about this matter from a diverse perspective.

  • Rachil

    I think the best place to look is I found a cheap home daycare from this website that my kids go to know. It is called richmond hill child care even than I had to pay money. At least it was cheap. I think that the government should , provided families with funding . I mean look at how much tax we are paying. We pay tax on income, at the end of the year and when we buy things. What for ? even when I had to take my 3 year old to the hospital ,last week we had to wait for 12 hours to see the doctor. Why do we have to slaves of government?