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Dear Urban Diplomat: I’m staunchly against the wave at Toronto Blue Jays games

Dear Urban Diplomat

(Image: Keith Allison)

Dear Urban Diplomat,
I hate it when people do the wave at Jays games. I’m a long-time ticket holder, and this year, a group of yuppie boneheads bought season’s tickets for the seats in front of me. They have a tendency to start the wave at the worst times. Last week, it’s the bottom of the ninth, Brett Lawrie is at the plate, and suddenly everyone’s standing, and I miss the pitch. I barked at the guys, who made fun of me for being a stick in the mud. I don’t want to deal with this all season. What should I do?
—Against the Tide, Hogg’s Hollow

Yes, the wave is game obstructing and hokey, and even unofficially verboten at Chicago’s Wrigley Field. But for a lot of people, going out to the ballpark is as much about banal rituals—where else can men in suits chest-bump, wag giant foam fingers and boogie down to “Y.M.C.A.”?—as it is about the game. If you can’t beat the wave crowd (and you can’t, given that it’s 20,000-odd people strong), learn to grin and ignore it—or at least bring a radio with earbuds so you can keep up with the game no matter what’s going on around you.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com