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Dear Urban Diplomat: what should I do after accidentally sexting a co-worker?

Dear Urban Diplomat,

Due to an iPhone autofill snafu, I accidentally sent a sexually explicit text message to a co-worker with the same first name as my intended recipient. I didn’t even realize what I had done for a couple of days, but she never replied. I’ve seen her since and she hasn’t said anything, and HR hasn’t forced me into sensitivity training. A week has passed—should I apologize or pretend it never happened?

—Sextual Deviant, location withheld

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Twelve Thirty Six

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In today’s Twelve Thirty Six, Toronto’s new lunchtime tabloid, Kraft stops pretending mac and cheese is “dinner”

Kraft Dinner gets an extreme makeover. Kraft Dinner—the fluorescent orange noodles containing enough wholesome Canadian heritage to be the subject of a 2012 cover story in The Walrushas taken the radical step of formally changing its name to “KD.” To help get the word out, the company has enlisted rapper Kardinal Offishall, who made the media rounds claiming he temporarily changed his name to “Kardinal D’Offishall,” or “KD” for short. Marketing was so much easier when all you needed was a cheesy jingle.

Dear Toronto, stop foraging in the parks. Signed, city hall. A recent Toronto Star article spotlighting ardent crabapple munchers alarmed bureaucrats enough to issue a warning that it’s essentially illegal—and can even kill you. “Mushrooms don’t give you a second chance,” urban foraging fan David Arama admitted in the article, which is what the city is saying, too.

“This is the reason people hire ghostwriters.” Norm Kelly, or at least the person who runs @norm, breached his Twitter hiatus to quip about last night’s counter-diss track from Meek Mill, “Wanna Know.” Lines from Drake’s hater in Philadelphia include “Tell us who the fuck was Quentin running through the six with” (a reference to Drake’s alleged ghostwriter). “Wanna Know” also speaks of Drizzy getting drizzled by urine in a movie theatre after an argument with rapper T.I. over an aisle seat. As for Kelly, he’ll get plenty of ironic love at this weekend’s OVO Fest at the Molson Ampitheatre, even if he’s out of town.

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Real Estate

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Condo of the Week: $700,000 for a Leslieville loft in a former Coca-Cola plant

toronto-condo-of-the-week-1159-dundas-street-east-leslieville-leadAddress: 1159 Dundas St. E., Unit 149
Neighbourhood: Leslieville
Agent: Matt Casselman, Re/Max Hallmark Realty Ltd., Brokerage
Price: $699,900

The place: A two-bedroom hard loft overlooking a quiet Leslieville laneway.

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Cost of Living

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“I’ll probably take the first real vacation of my adult life this year”: how a 27-year-old PR rep lives on around $54,000 a year

(Image: Kayla Rocca)

(Image: Kayla Rocca)

Who: Danielle Morgan, 27

What she does: A freelance public relations representative who specializes in the arts.

What she makes: Last year she made $42,000 at a boutique PR firm, which she left a few months ago to take better-paying contracts. She now works from home, and will likely make about $54,000 this year.

Some of how she spends it: Rent on her one-bedroom basement apartment near Roncesvalles and Westminster: $1,000 per month. (“When I first moved in there, it was all I could afford. I couldn’t swing the expense of living aboveground. Now that I’m in a position where I probably could, I really enjoy my apartment, and I prefer to stay and save.”) OSAP payments: $420 monthly. Lease payments on her car: $0. (It was a gift from her parents.) Gas, parking and insurance: $250–$300 monthly. (“My car is a big expense, and a dud, so every time I take it in to the shop, there’s something wrong. I’m selling it and switching to public transit this fall.”) IMDBpro subscription: $149.99 annually. (“I need it for work contacts.”) Cellphone: $73.45 monthly. Charitable donations: $78 monthly. (“I sponsor two people through Plan Canada and World Vision.”) Savings for an upcoming trip: $700–$1500 monthly. (“I’ll probably take the first real vacation of my adult life this year. I plan to do the west coast.”)

What she bought in one week: Fresh fruit and vegetables from the Sorauren Farmers’ Market: $23. (“The Swiss Chard was the size of my torso. It was insane. I ate it for three days.”) Face wash on sale at Shoppers: $3.94. (“I’m not a couponer, but I always pay attention to sales.”) Lunch and dinner from Sushi on Roncy: $17. (“They were renovating my kitchen after a leak upstairs, so I couldn’t cook that day.”) Gift from Belle de Provence: $57.56. (“Because I was displaced by the renovations, my neighbour let me live in her apartment while she was away, so I bought her some fancy French soap.”) Brunch at Old School: $39. (“Brunch is my biggest vice, and it was my turn to pay for a friend.”)

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Real Estate

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House of the Week: $4 million for an Etobicoke estate with a totally ’80s interior

toronto-house-of-the-week-37-north-drive-lead 
Address: 37 North Drive
Neighbourhood: Etobicoke
Agent: Bev Jones and Steve Broadhurst, Re/Max Professionals Inc., Brokerage
Price: $3,998,000

The place: A custom-designed Etobicoke mansion with some next-level party potential.

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People

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Q&A: new Ontario PC leader Patrick Brown on what he stands for (and what Snoop Dogg thinks of him)

Patrick Brown

(Image: Erin Leydon)

You emerged from relative obscurity to win the Ontario PC leadership in a landslide. Get us up to speed: who are you and where did you come from?
I’ve been a Conservative party soldier at various levels for the last 22 years. I got my law degree in Windsor, spent two terms on Barrie council and then three terms in the House of Commons. I was so frustrated after the Ontario PC party’s defeat that I decided to get involved.

Your dad ran federally for the NDP; your mom was a schoolteacher. How did you wind up a diehard Conservative?
I wrote a letter to Brian Mulroney in grade school about acid rain. He responded, and I liked what he said. I told my parents, “I think I agree with the Conservative party.”

They didn’t try to sway you to the left?
No. They were just happy that I took an interest in politics. In fact, my dad has since become a Conservative.

Who is your Conservative patron saint?
It’s hard to pick just one. If I could patch together various Conservative qualities, I’d say Jean Charest’s passion, John A. Macdonald’s nation-building, Narendra Modi’s ability to link education to employment, and Thatcher’s boldness.

You attended St. Michael’s College for high school. Are you religious?
Not really. I was more into hockey.

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Real Estate

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Cottage of the Week: $3.9 million for a big, modern farm in central Ontario

toronto-cottage-of-the-week-sidehill-farm-lead-2

Address: 7303 18/19 Nottawasaga Side Road
Neighbourhood: Clearview, Ontario
Agent: Patrick Prime, Sotheby’s International Realty
Price: $3,900,000

The place: An old-world farmstead with modern metal and glass touches in Clearview, Ontario, with views of the Niagara Escarpment to the west and Georgian Bay to the north.

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Best Bets

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Share your woes with Drake and all his friends, pig out at a food truck festival, and more to do this week

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(Images, clockwise from top left: Drake, courtesy of Universal Music Canada; La Dolce Vita, courtesy of TIFF Film Reference Library; Photuris Versicolor, courtesy of Dusk Dances)

Brave the sweaty masses at OVO Fest
Homegrown hero Drake turns The 6 into hip-hop heaven for the sixth year running. The extended three-day schedule features comedy king Kevin Hart, rap’s most successful understudy J. Cole and witty wordsmith Big Sean. Drizzy himself headlines the fest’s final day, but the real question is which special guests will take the stage with him. Saturday, August 1 to Monday, August 3. $75–$366.30. Molson Canadian Amphitheatre, 909 Lake Shore Blvd. W., 416-260-5600, ticketmaster.ca.

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Real Estate

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Sale of the Week: the $1.2-million Islington home with a wild colour scheme

toronto-sale-of-the-week-7-hillcroft-drive-intro

Address: 7 Hillcroft Drive
Neighbourhood: Islington
Agent: Jill Stewart and Rob LePage, Royal LePage Real Estate Services Ltd., Brokerage

The Property: This upgraded Islington home on a quiet crescent has unusual, angular design features, a curved central staircase and some of the boldest colour choices we’ve seen since last year. The yards, both front and back, have been converted almost entirely into low-maintenance stone courtyards.

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Real Estate

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A look at how developers want to transform the intersection of King and Dufferin

king-and-dufferin-intro

What it is: A complete reinvention of the intersection of King Street West and Dufferin Street. The proposal is for two condo buildings with retail at ground level. One, on the northeast corner of the intersection, would have 21 floors and 448 residential units. The other building, on the southwest corner, would have 19 floors and 301 units. The existing BMO branch on the southwest corner would stay where it is.

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Real Estate

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Condo of the Week: $2.7 million for a north-Annex loft with a summer-ready terrace

toronto-condo-of-the-week-113-dupont-avenue-intro

Address: 113 Dupont Street, Unit 202
Neighbourhood: The Annex
Agent: Christian Vermast and Paul Maranger, Sotheby’s International Realty, Trilogy Team
Price: $2,650,000

The Place: A three-bedroom loft on the second floor of a building in the northern reaches of the Annex.

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Real Estate

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Here’s what developers want to build on a patch of Toronto Community Housing land in the Annex

250-davenport-intro

What it is: A 28-storey, 315-unit condo tower with townhouses around its base, shown to the right in the rendering above. All of it would be built at 250 Davenport Road, near Avenue Road, on land owned by the Toronto Community Housing Corporation.

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Features

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Jennifer Pan’s Revenge: the inside story of a golden child, the killers she hired, and the parents she wanted dead

Read this article in simplified Chinese
点击这里阅读整篇中文文章

a-daughters-revenge

Bich Ha and Huei Hann Pan were classic examples of the Canadian immigrant success story. Hann was raised and educated in Vietnam and moved to Canada as a political refugee in 1979. Bich (pronounced “Bick”) came separately, also a refugee. They married in Toronto and lived in Scarborough. They had two kids, Jennifer, in 1986, and Felix, three years later, and found jobs at the Aurora-based auto parts manufacturer Magna International, Hann as a tool and die maker and Bich making car parts. They lived frugally. By 2004, Bich and Hann had saved enough to buy a large home with a two-car garage on a quiet residential street in Markham. He drove a Mercedes-Benz and she a Lexus ES 300, and they accumulated $200,000 in the bank.

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Features

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女儿的复仇

Jennifer Pan曾是个好孩子,她聪明、刻苦、听话。可后来,她却雇了三个人去杀害自己的父母。谋杀行动一切按计划进行,唯一意外的是她的父亲没有死。Karen K. Ho讲述……

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a-daughters-revenge

Bich Ha和Huei Hann Pan曾是亚裔加拿大移民的成功典范。Hann在越南长大,也是在越南受的教育,1979年作为政治难民来到加拿大。Bich也是作为难民来到的加拿大,但不是跟Hann一起来的。他们在多伦多结婚,住在士嘉堡。1986年,两人有了第一个孩子Jennifer,三年后又有了第二个孩子Felix。他们在位于加拿大奥罗拉的麦格纳汽车配件制造公司上班,Hann是工具模具制造工人,Bich做汽车配件。他们过着节俭的生活。到2004年,Bich和Hann终于积攒了足够的存款,在万锦市一条安静的住宅街区买下一栋带两个车位车库的大房子。Hann开一辆奔驰,Bich开一辆雷克萨斯ES 300,他们在银行还有20万加元的存款。

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Real Estate

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House of the Week: $3.1 million for a century-old mansion in Rosedale with a serious wine cellar

toronto-house-of-the-week-65-highland-avenue-intro

Address: 65 Highland Avenue
Neighbourhood: Rosedale
Agent: Janet Lindsay, Chestnut Park Real Estate Limited, Brokerage
Price: $3,095,000

The Place: A six-bedroom, six-bathroom brick Rosedale mansion, about halfway between Bloor and St. Clair and steps from Rosedale Park.

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