1. BE MEIN VALENTINE
This collaboration between burlesque troupes Skin Tight Outta Sight and Boylesque T.O., their first, is the start of what’s sure to be a beautiful—and scandalous—friendship. Taking inspiration from 1920s Berlin, the revue is all decadence, lovesick rent boys and bondage-loving angels who’ve definitely fallen from grace. Be sure to stick around for the post-show dance party. Feb. 13 and 14. $30. Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St. W., skintightouttasight.com.

2. FAMILY DAY LONG WEEKEND AT THE ROM
Long weekends are bliss—until the call of housebound kids rings through the house: “I’m bored.” Escape that fate with this weekend-long program of kid-friendly activities themed around Mesozoic monsters, with faux archeological digs, craft stations and programming at the Earth Rangers Studio. Budget-friendly bonus: everything’s included in the cost of regular admission. Feb. 13 to 15. $22. Royal Ontario Museum, 100 Queen’s Park, 416-586-8000, rom.on.ca.

3. WAVELENGTH 500 Talk about mixed messages. This long-running indie music showcase marks its 10th anniversary and the end of its weekly series with a party this weekend. Organizers have worked hard to put together a fitting tribute with this five-night jam, which sees the return of Holy Fuck and the Constantines, who play on Thursday and Saturday respectively. Wavelength will return in a special-event format come springtime. Feb. 10 to 14. Prices vary. Various locations, wavelengthtoronto.com.

4. TORONTO EROTIC ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR (FREE!)
DIY gone dirty, this pre-Valentine’s Day fair features art, 'zines, crafts, toys and clothes, all decidedly naughty. On offer at this year’s fair: chastity belts, anatomically correct sock monkeys, corsets and all sorts of lube, among other things. Feb. 13. Noon–8. Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St. W., eroticartsandcrafts.com.

5. HEARTBEATS FOR AFRICA The brainchild of two sisters, Alison and Kate Lawler-Dean, this art show and cocktail party donates proceeds to the Stephen Lewis Foundation to help African women and children affected by HIV/AIDS. Original art, photography and sculpture are on the auction block, including work by photographer Miguel Jacob, illustrator Alanna Cavanagh, sculptor Hirotoshi Sawada and graphic designer Caroline Bishop. Feb. 13. $40 at the door. Georgia Scherman Projects, 133 Tecumseth St., heartbeatsforafrica.com.

6. ART OF TIME PRESENTS SHOSTAKOVICH: A PORTRAIT
This interdisciplinary program, a celebration of acclaimed composer Dmitri Shostakovich, features both classical and jazz musicians performing some of the composer’s best known works: 8th String Quartet, 2nd Piano Trio and the rarely performed Jazz Suite 1. We’re particularly looking forward to 2nd Piano Trio, which will be accompanied by live cinema courtesy of filmmaker Peter Mettler and a new work by dancer and choreographer Andrea Nann. Feb. 12. $19–$49. Enwave Theatre, Harbourfront Centre, 231 Queens Quay W., 416-973-4000, artoftimeensemble.com.

7. JOHN MAYER
So long as John Mayer is crooning about bodies being wonderlands and slow dancing in burning rooms, we get along fine. It’s when he starts appearing on magazine covers in scuzzy track pants and rambling to the paparazzi about his exes that we get annoyed. Let’s hope this V Day concert is more column A than column B. Feb. 14. $49.50–$89.50. Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay St., 416-870-8000, ticketmaster.ca.

8. DEAD BRA DAY SALE
Spice up the old lingerie drawer and do a good deed at the same time with this annual sale at upscale underwear destination Secrets From Your Sister. Donate old bras to charity, and the store will give a 25 per cent discount on a new one. Feb. 13. Secrets From Your Sister, 560 Bloor St. W., 416-538-1234; 2501 Yonge St., 416-482-8007, secretsfromyoursister.com.