Hump Day Bump
Originally a night for Parkdale’s young lesbians, this rowdy mid-week mixer is now equally populated with local hipster boys. A rotating roster of DJs—including Shane MacKinnon and Cozmic Cat—keeps the geek-chic crowd shimmying its way through the Gladstone’s Melody Bar. Get there before 11 p.m., especially in the summer, or face a long lineup of students, artists and creative professionals.
The Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St. W., 416-531-4635, www.gladstonehotel.com. Wednesdays from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. No cover.

El Convento Rico
This steamy little club in Little Italy boasts one of Toronto’s most unusual cross-sections of subcultures. A mix of straight macho men, Latin ladies, gay boys and drag queens dance to salsa, top 40 and Latin beats. But the drag performers are the real draw: some of Toronto’s best take over the dance floor around 1 a.m. The low ceilings give the club a cavernous, underground vibe, and the welcoming clientele ensures no one feels left out. The yearly Miss El Convento Rico and Mr. El Convento Rico pageants are not to be missed.
El Convento Rico, 750 College St., 416-588-7800, www.elconventorico.com. Fridays and Saturdays from 9 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. Cover $8.

Big Primpin’
Break out your Reeboks, kaffiyehs and neon sunglasses for this monthly homo hip-hop party at Stones Place. Now in its fifth year, Big Primpin’ shows no sign of slowing down (despite persistent rumours that its days are numbered); lineups down Queen West are still a frequent occurrence, and the dance floor oozes off the tiny stage. At the back of the bar, boys lounge on Victorian furniture, while the girls show off on the vintage pinball machine.
Stones Place, 1255 Queen St. W., 416-536-4242, www.stonesplace.ca. First Saturday of the month from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Cover $10.

Mirror Ballroom at Randomland
There are plenty of places to get lost in the labyrinthine mega-club Circa, but most boys looking for boys make their way to the Mirror Ballroom on the top floor. Established in part by pint-sized party promoter Matt Sims, it’s essentially a gay club-within-a-club and home base for male go-go dancers, trans-gendered beauties, glitter-covered club kids, older gentlemen reliving their club days and curious 905ers lost on the way to the washroom. The cover, mandatory coat check and pricey drinks can make for an expensive night out, but someone has to pay for the lavish digs.
Circa, 126 John St., 416-979-0044, www.circatoronto.com. Fridays from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. Cover $15.

Biff Bang Pow! 
Above Lee’s Palace, the dark, grungy Annex institution is the go-to place for gay kids who want a night out with their straight friends. While the event isn’t officially queer, there’s guaranteed to be a handful of lascivious boys and girls. And with scant competition for their attention, it’s easy to make your move on the bustling dance floor. Drinks are OSAP friendly, and there’s no cover if you dust off your student ID. DJ Trevor spins ’60s, retro, mod, soul and alt rock.
The Dance Cave, 529 Bloor St. W., www.leespalace.com/dancecave.html. Fridays from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Cover $6, free with student ID.

Honourable Mentions:
• The Brokeback phenomenon continues at Steers and Queers, The Dakota Tavern’s quarterly gay hoedown.
• The Beaver, Will Munro’s post-Vazaleen venture, is a café by day and cramped little bar by night, featuring dyke nights and bear parties.
• Thunderpussy at the Bovine Sex Club tries to pick up where Ciao Edie’s Here Kitty Kitty left off, with mixed results.