The invitation trumpeted the three S’s: smut, sisterhood and secrecy. Guests were to come to “a Hollywood Hills–style home,” the address of which would be revealed at a later date. Cloak and dagger? More like cocktails and dirt. The occasion was the Third Annual Smut Soirée, featuring Toronto-born gossip guru Elaine “Lainey” Lui—still nursing a broken elbow from a collision in Cannes—and hosted by Hogtown’s hottest social networking league for PYTs, called (what else?) The Society. Inside what turned out to be a palatial Admiral Road dwelling (owned by Bay Street big shot Michael Cooper), minglers bonded over Dior makeup applications, celeb-inspired temporary tattoos and something every good party needs: complimentary lipstick readings (a fortune teller reads your pucker print instead of your tea leaves). The raucous crowd later fell to a reverent hush for a poolside Q&A with Lui, moderated by MTV Canada poster boy Dan Levy. Tingly tidbits ranged from the catty (“Nicole Kidman is the biggest fraud in Hollywood”) to the crass (Question: “Why does Jessica Simpson’s quarterback boyfriend stay with her?” Answer: ”She has a big mouth”). But for nearly 400 devoted laineygossip.com readers, the fluff fest had all the gravitas of a presidential press conference.—Claire Cooper