Exile on Bay Street
Between the crush of billable hours and the constantly buzzing BlackBerry, it’s no wonder so many attorneys contemplate suicide. Why I escaped the law By Alec Scott
Image credit: Gary Taxali
Until an autumn day in 1998, I was headed along a well-travelled path, but, on that day, I was diverted. Three years out of the University of Toronto’s storied law faculty, I was employed as a junior associate at a downtown law firm—a civil litigation boutique with an odd mixture of specialties ranging from defamation to maritime law, from insurance to aviation. I was in my office, on the 21st floor of a ziggurat-like tower at Yonge and Queen, sending out e-mails to my colleagues soliciting work. I had just finished assisting a partner in a constitutional case at the Ontario Court of Appeal, and for the first time since joining the firm, I didn’t have much on my plate.
The phone rang. Would I come to the interior conference room, the one with the ugly pastels? There, looking sheepish, were two of my favourite partners: a courtly aviation specialist, a Louisiana native who always wore a fedora outside; and one of the firm’s few senior female lawyers, a soft-spoken Scottish-Canadian. At once, I knew what was coming, why I had no work. I was about to be fired.
They sat me down and said that after a strong start at the firm, I’d apparently lost my drive. I was billing too few hours. I didn’t seem happy. I sometimes didn’t give the impression of wanting to learn. The worst of it was that everything they said was true. I had been miserable for at least a year. I hated beginning my day by finding a nasty e-mail in my inbox (sent at 1:28 a.m.) or a vicious phone message from another lawyer (left at 2:25 a.m.). I despised being on my feet in front of rude, overworked judges. I had such bad performance anxiety that quite often, just prior to a court appearance, I’d excuse myself, go to the washroom and vomit.
The summer before my dismissal, I’d taken a three-month unpaid leave of absence to put on a play—what is known in the trade as a CLM, a career-limiting move. On extremely trying days at the office, I’d think of W. B. Yeats’s dictum, “Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart,” and pray not to turn into the listless drone with “Carpe Diem” as his screen saver. In various moments of deep despair, I had drafted but not sent multiple incendiary resignation letters. Though the shame of being fired was almost unbearable, deep down I was relieved.
The partners offered me an adequate severance package, decent, if tepid, references, and the promise to help me in any way they could. But this job, this phase of my life, was over. So this is how it feels, I thought, staring dully at an ugly abstract painting on the wall. So this, at last, is failure. Firing happened to other people, not to people like me. I excused myself politely and went home.
My friends and family thought I should try for another job in the field. And I’m sure I could have found one. I had decent marks, solid experience, good connections. But I couldn’t stand the idea of interviewing at another firm, trying to convince them that I wanted a job. I didn’t. I wanted out.
And so I shifted from the respectable, besuited profession of law into the relatively disreputable, turtlenecked trade of journalism. Some of my friends were bewildered, others filled with pity. But a few seemed envious.
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This essay is, without doubt, one of the most beautifully written as well as one of the most thoughtful journalistic pieces that I've read in eons. Kudos to the author.
August 18, 2007 | by DrBehaviorI know and we know that many lawyers are correct, but often they don't tell all... Here is an example concerning Minister Michael Fortier and his brother-in-law Me Pierre Delisle :
Lawyer, Senator and Minister Michael Fortier said, about the big federal lawsuit launched to recover our stolen money from Groupaction, Lafleur Communication and others : "We're going to continue to do what's necessary with our lawyers to try to recover all of the money that we believe we're owed," said Public Works Minister Michael Fortier. (Canadian Press, Wed Jun 27, 6:09 PM)
On the other side, Michael Fortier unreveil this important fact, keeping taxpayers ignorant :
a) PC Minister Michael Fortier, Ottawa, is the brother-in-law of one of the two senior associates of the law firm Pothier Delisle in Quebec and Montreal (recently transformed to Morency Associates), Me Pierre Delisle. (Me Delisle is married to ex-minister Margaret Fortier-Delisle in Charest’s government)
b) This same law firm Pothier Delisle is the one since March 2005 defending Groupaction Marketing Inc., Jean Brault, Gosselin Relations publiques Inc., and Groupaxion Nouveaux Médias Inc. , in the big Federal lawsuit. Minister Michael Fortier is fighting to recover 60,000,000$, while his brother-in-law, until September 2006, time at which he left suddenly his law firm, was and is fighting TO STOP Michael Fortier from recovering the stolen money ! (Quebec Superior Court Number 500-17-024768-056)
c) Moreover, Groupaction, Jean Brault, Lafleur Communication, Gosselin Relations Publique etc., as in the past, continue to have now their companies’ addresses at the exact address of Pothier Delisle (today Morency société d'Avocats), 500 Place d’Armes, suite 2420, Montreal. ( Registre des entreprises, https://ssl.req.gouv.qc.ca/slc0110.html )
It is easy to verify the above information but taxpayers cann't imagine it.
Tks
August 18, 2007 | by UnbelievableI work in the US with a nonprofit. Never worked for or wanted to work for a large law firm. In my job, I help the poor and homeless with legal problems. It's frustrating because the local law firms see no reason to assist financially with the program. I'm too old to be tactful and polite anymore. I'm told I don't do the politics very well--and that's fine. I'm not sure how much longer I'll continue to practice law. It's not as much fun as it was when I started 25 years ago. The collegiality of other lawyers is gone--in fact, I had a case with a lawyer who was a personal and professional pleasure to work with. It's so unusual that I need to mention it. I don't like most lawyers. Too many are arrogant, self-absorbed and obnoxious. My program is facing severe financial difficulties. I've found that I am seen as less important because I make significantly less money than the big firm lawyers. It's funny because I love my job. It is my dream job, I just don't like the way my clients are treated by the judges and other lawyers.
I appreciated the article. It hit the mark and now I know Canadian lawyers are facing the same issues as US lawyers. Thanks for writing it. It was referenced in the e-letter I received from the American Bar Association.
August 19, 2007 | by lgbtlawConcerning Sponsorship scandal and minister Fortier, see at this site : http://www.canott.blogspot.com
September 1, 2007 | by UnbelievableThis article is about lawyers, but the same story is true in management consulting. For professions in knowledge intensive business services (KIBS), something has got to change.
I've suggested that more research is required, at http://coevolving.com/blogs/index.php/ar... .
September 20, 2007 | by daviding