We all know him. That beer-swilling, BS-peddling neanderthal who treats patio season like a behavioural carte blanche. Depending on the venue, this creature may appear in a number of incarnations. Here, a cheat sheet for identifying the real boobs of bathing suit season.

The Lusty Leerer
Ultra Supper Club reports the majority of bad behaviour at their luxe location comes courtesy of female-ogling suit-and-tie types who can get out of hand in the presence of bronzed beauties.

The Drunken Buffoon
The Boiler House uses a pre-emptive traffic light system to handle over-imbibers: yellow for tipsy patrons; red for belligerent boozehounds, who are then promptly sent packing.

The Slippery Dick
After opening last September, Yorkville oasis One had to fill in the seven-inch spaces between patio-bordering plants after more than one amateur bush vaulter tried to bypass the lineup.

The Douchebag
Sweaty Betty’s is a favourite with low-key celebs. Drew Barrymore was a regular last fall, as was the odd horny hooligan who thought getting drunk and drooly was a good way to impress a starlet.