Dear Urban Diplomat,

1) Use the coat check. I know it’s a pain to line up at the AGO, or empty your pockets of valuables before handing your coat over at a restaurant, but just do it. If an establishment doesn’t have a coat check, write the management a letter. Remind them they are located in Canada, where winter requires body- and soul-suffocating layers.

2) If you choose to keep your puffy coat on while on public transit or in a crowded elevator, don’t expect sympathy when you faint from heatstroke. Also, if possible, please turn your back to a wall or window so as not to graze the eyes of fellow passengers with your fulsome fringe.

3) In narrow grocery store aisles, the coat should be placed in the shopping cart (needless to say, the shopping cart can be a more serious menace than the coat; please drive it responsibly).

4) Absolutely no hooded coats should be worn during movie screenings. Moviegoers seated behind view-obscuring hoods have every right to deposit their half-empty popcorn bag into them.

5) In the washroom: any man who has ever peed while wearing a coat knows that being heavily clothed on top and exposed down below is awkward and humbling. It is discouraged for this reason alone, never mind the fact that simultaneous parka and penis management is difficult, and down-filled fabric is expensive to dry clean.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com

(Image: Devin Jeffrey)

Street meat stalls, jewellery merchants and flower guys do indeed rent slabs of sidewalk from the city for between $1,1556 and $4,250 per year. Al Fresco rental rates are based on the nature of the micro-business, not the volume of foot traffic. Booths for clothing and food are pricier because they take up more space than, say, ice cream carts. Competition for sweet spots, like the corner of Queen and Peter, where there’s a long-standing mini-bazaar, isn’t as fierce as you might think; once a vendor rents a spot, he or she gets first dibs on it the following year. Also, in 2002, the city deemed the sidewalk market officially saturated, imposing a moratorium on new sellers downtown. For the indoors-averse entre­preneur, there are still plenty of jobs on the street—ones that are, um, less regulated.

• Question from Andrew Harris, King West

• Question from Lucy Bazelon, the Annex

(Image: Devin Jeffrey)

Growing small quantities of organic produce is an expensive endeavour. When you’re forking over $8 for a basket of raspberries, you’re paying little more than the costs of production and labour, so our best advice is to suck it up or take your shopping cart to the fluorescent-lit aisles of the supermarket, where imported, pesticidal produce is available at half the price. That said, there are circum­stances in which market merchants are willing to make a deal. Anyone buying in larger quantities is likely to get a freebie, and loyal regulars will often find an extra turnip or two in their bag. For your best chance at bargain bounty, wait until the end of the day, when the spinach is starting to look a little limp. Just be warned: you’re risking the stink eye from the guy in overalls and the clan of ethical eaters around you.

• Question from Dana Greenfield, Riverdale

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

• Question from Monica Lee Murray, Little Portugal

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

(Image: istockphoto)

It’s difficult to precisely measure the growth of rat populations—the loathed rodents are more likely to be caught and killed than tagged and tracked—but many Toronto pest control specialists say their business has shot up since the 2009 garbage strike sparked a veritable vermin baby boom last July, so it’s quite possi­ble the summer of rodent love is responsible for an increased presence in the subways. Geography is also a factor; your chances of spotting a rat are greater in the downtown core because the busy inner stations see the most foot traffic and, in turn, collect the most litter. Being crafty scavengers, the hungry varmints flock to the bounty. Regular platform cleanups prevent the stations from becoming smorgasbords for pests. However, rats are most often spotted on the tracks, where garbage collection is less frequent because it can only be done in the wee hours when the system is shut down. It’s at track level where the TTC’s anti-rat measures go from benignly preventive to justifiably homicidal. Every four months, maintenance crews distribute rodenticides at the ends of each platform. Depending on your animal ethics, this practice may either reassure you or cause you to recoil with indignation.

• Question from Hanna Leonides, Don Mills

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

(Image: bigshot fotos, from the Torontolife.com Flickr pool)

The Sunshine State seems like an obvious choice for Toronto’s boutique airline. Last year, 6,378 flights departed from Pearson for Florida’s three main cities, making it the second most popular travel destination for Canadians (next to New York). However, the airline’s selection process isn’t strictly governed by demand, as the roster of new Porter routes proves (no offence, Sudbury). The ideal Porter destination meets two criteria. First, it must be a city that can support multiple flights per day. Florida passes this test with flying coconuts. Second, it should be no further than two hours of travel time (about 900 kilometres) from Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport. Porter’s fleet of Bombardier Q400 aircraft can seat only 70 passengers each. The expense of travelling to Miami takes a big bite out of the potential profits. So far, Porter has made only one exception to the two-hour rule: it launched non-stop weekend flights to Myrtle Beach this winter because no other Canadian airline offers the same service. In other words, sun seekers looking to sip free Steamwhistle en route to a palm tree para­dise would be wise to keep Carolina on their minds.

• Question from Jonas Hendrickson, Yorkville

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

• Question from Deena Rowly, Leaside

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

• Question from Evie Hewitt, Wychwood

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

(Photo by Steve Russell/Toronto Star)

It’s true, Toronto’s tallest office tower will soon be rid of 6,000-odd tons of ­Carrara marble, to be replaced by glass panels. The main reason for the $100‑million-plus facelift is safety. In 2007, a 300-pound chunk plummeted from the tower’s 60th storey onto the roof of the third-floor mezzanine. Hazards aside, 35 winters have turned the once snow white stone the colour of slush.

If you’re still keen to own a part of the city’s architectural past, Brookfield Properties, the building manager, hopes to make some of it available to the public for free in the spring. The rest of it will be recycled, crushed into rooftop ballast (a heavy layer that secures roof insulation) or donated to a local art group.

• Question from Maury Neufeld, Mississauga

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

Have a roaring winter (Photo by Damien D.)

A massive illuminated tiger doesn’t scream “deck the halls” quite like an inflatable Frosty or a nativity scene, but sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the usual holiday suspects. Although the tiger has nothing to do with the birth of Christ, the Korea Town Business Improvement Area lights him up every winter to symbolize, according to Korean mythology, well-being and prosperity. The organization commissioned Baekho, the 17-by-8.5-foot jungle cat, to mark the advent of a neighbourhood rejuvenation project back in 2005. Since then, the BIA has done much to upgrade the area, though none of its other initiatives—sidewalk beautification, improved garbage collection—exude the in-your-faceness of Baekho. He’s made out of more than 1,300 pounds of aluminum and 22,000 orange and white LED bulbs. Should he spark ambitions (à la Clark Griswold) of one-upping your neighbours’ light-up lawn trinketry, be warned: Baekho came with a $50,000 price tag and costs $7,000 annually to maintain and store.

• Question from Carl Mann of Little Italy

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

(Photo by Caitlan Durlack)

The sculptures are one set of several installations commissioned by Concord Adex for its new CityPlace green space. The mammoth condo developer spent $9 million on the park, making it the largest privately funded public art exhibit in Canadian history. For the task, the firm chose Douglas Coupland, the author of Generation X and an infamous lover of Lego, Canadiana and all things pop. With the west coast in mind, he designed giant replicas of the bobbers used by fishermen. In summer, water burbles up from the cement between them—perhaps a simulation of the Pacific Ocean. Also adding to the true north ambience is a cartoonish red canoe overlooking the Gardiner, and the Terry Fox Miracle Mile, a running and walking track encircling the park that’s punctuated with poster-sized pictures of our national hero. As for the exact purpose of the bobbers, well that’s liable to provoke heated debate among observers. Marxists might say it alludes to the role of fishermen in feeding the bourgeois inhabitants of the surrounding condos; patriots would probably argue it stimulates public dialogue on Canadian identity; and aesthetes would say it’s art for art’s sake. But the most practical interpretation is likely to come from toddlers, for whom it’s the city’s coolest new splash pad.

• Question from Margie Doverson of Scarborough

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

• Question from Bobby Colangelo in Woodbridge

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.

(Photo from Veer)

If an encounter with a St. Nick who’s been dipping into the Christmas cheer is not the kind of memory you’re looking for, you’re not alone: an informal poll suggests smelly and grumpy Santas have tarnished the season for Toronto tykes over the years. How such social rejects manage to make it into the esteemed red and white uniform is a mystery to David Blow, the sales director at Fotonow, a company that supplies Santas to Yorkdale, Fairview Mall, Shoppers World and Bramalea City Centre. In his seven years on the job, he says, the nice Santa experiences have far outweighed the naughty: “Most of our guys have been with us for a long time. They care a lot about their work. The best ones really channel Santa.” Blow has only once been forced to cut a Claus loose, and that was because the man was too shy, not too schlitzed. The Kris Kringle pool (most regulars are 60-something retirees) is pretty tight. “For the past several years, all of our hires have come through referrals,” Blow says. For those considering a jolly career change, candidates must produce a clean police check. A natural beard is a plus (it also increases the pay scale, which ranges from $15 to $50 an hour), though fake whiskers are acceptable. As for Santa’s trademark bowlful-of-jelly belly, in men over 60, an ample paunch and rosy cheeks can indicate health issues, so svelte is fine, as long as you can support two sugar-jacked whipper-snappers on your lap at one time.

• Question from Daisy Gardener in The Beach

Wondering about the waterfront? Curious about construction? Perplexed by politics? Ask the Urban Decoder a question here.