(Images: Still Waters Distillery)

Every now and then, a lovely little crack opens up in Ontario’s booze monopoly: a brewpub here, a wine kiosk inside a grocery store there, the occasional off-site winery boutique. Last month, the GTA gained yet another new venue for hooch hounds hoping to circumvent official channels: Still Waters, a local spirits distillery in Concord that makes and sells its product on-site.

Barry Stein and Barry Bernstein founded their scotch importing business in 2005, but they had always planned to graduate to distilling their own product. The kettles started bubbling in March 2009, but it took two years before the duo was ready to expand to an on-site retail boutique—and it wasn’t easy. A diplomatic Bernstein tells us: “This is a very heavily regulated industry with many requirements at both the federal and provincial levels of government. Understanding and meeting all the requirements is not trivial and takes a lot of patience.”

The two Barrys make their pot-distilled single malt vodka and whiskies by hand and in small batches, using only Ontario-grown grains. They’ve already garnered a gold SIP award for their triple-distilled vodka with a super-short list of ingredients: Canadian malted barley, yeast and purified water. Stein and Bernstein have also been trying their hand at gin, brandy, rye and single malt whiskies. The whisky isn’t ready to drink just yet—it’s slowly maturing in oak casks—but these artisan spirits will eventually come to market as single-cask, limited edition numbered bottles.

And just how is a “pot-distilled” spirit different from something the big boys might make? Bernstein explains, “Nearly all vodka is made in large industrial continuous-distillation column stills. Using a pot still is not nearly as efficient, as distillation must occur in small batches by hand. However, we are able to control the end result much better by constant personal monitoring of the distillate off the still. We personally nose, taste and feel each and every batch to ensure it meets the characteristics we desire.”

Still Waters Distillery, 150 Bradwick Dr., Unit 26, Concord, 905-482-2080, stillwatersdistillery.com.

The once-mobbed Hoof Café is set to become the soon-to-be-mobbed Black Hoof Cocktail Bar (Image: Karon Liu)

Back in June, we reported that Jen Agg and Grant van Gameren’s ambitious plans to launch Black Hoof and Company this spring in the former Hoof Café space were being put on hold until spring 2012. Yesterday on his blog, Hoof pal Corey Mintz announced the next stage in the evolution of 923 Dundas St. W.: the Black Hoof Cocktail Bar. Starting this Thursday and running from Thursday to Monday night weekly, the new bar will serve Agg’s inventive cocktails (including, we hope, her barrel-aged manhattans) along with cheese plates for snacking. In September, the bar will be open seven nights a week and will feature guest chefs like Guy Rawlings and Colin Tooke, whose cocktails will go head-to-head against the house list. Eventually, the cocktail bar will take over the space adjacent to the Black Hoof across the street, and Black Hoof and Co., the new fine dining restaurant, will move in.

Agg has often lamented Toronto’s lacklustre cocktail scene, so we’re eager to see what she has in store. Oh, and in the spirit of her hilarious rant of a blog post in February, Agg will not be serving any vodka or vodka-based drinks at the bar.

• The Black Hoof Cocktail Bar [Porkosity]

(Image: Cupcake Vodka)

Underdog Wine and Spirits, an American alcohol producer, is introducing a new niche market vodka aimed, supposedly, at the adult millennial (and not at 14-year-old girls): Cupcake Vodka. The dessert-inspired spirit comes in a variety of flavours, including Original (which we’re assuming tastes like, um, cake), Chiffon, Devil’s Food and Frosting. Cupcake Vodka is also six-times distilled to “remove impurities while delivering a mouth-feel reminiscent of an indulgent delicious treat.” Given the LCBO’s aversion to booze that might appeal to youngsters, we don’t think we’ll be seeing this in Toronto any time soon.

Wine consultant and writer Doug Frost, who consulted on the product development, describes the vodkas as having a “velvet silkiness, [a] distinctive texture and a smooth finish…they capture purity of flavour to achieve a super-premium taste.” Unsurprisingly, Underdog Wine and Spirits has been cornering the dessert-inspired alcohol market—the company also owns Cupcake Vineyards, which makes, ahem, cupcake-flavoured wines. We can’t help but be reminded of Jessica Simpson’s line of Dessert cosmetics—another baking-influenced gimmick that seems aimed at 14-year-olds more so than adult women. If the vodka tastes in any way like these lickable beauty products, we’ll pass. Actually, we’ll probably pass either way.

• New Six-Times Distilled Cupcake Vodka Delivers Purity of Flavor and Creaminess [PRWeb]
• Cupcake Vodka Merges Foodie Guilt and Alcoholic Shame Into One Sad Vortex of Misery [Eater]

Guest judge Dan Aykroyd flanked by his blues sisters, Thea Andrews and Shereen Arazm (Image: Food Network Canada/Insight Productions)

TOP CHEF CANADA
Season 1 | Episode 3

Was it just us, or was the level of cooking on last night’s episode of Top Chef Canada miles ahead of the safe, bland fare from the first two weeks? Maybe the chefs have gotten over their first time jitters. Or maybe it was the presence of actor, restaurateur, winemaker, illicit vodka purveyor and guest judge Dan Aykroyd that (ghost-)busted them into shape. Whatever it was, the contestants stepped up their game—without sacrificing the all-important smack talk and clowning around in their under things (this time Origin’s Steve Gonzalez did the honours). Here, our recap of the best dishes, trash talk and product placements.

Quickfire

The blind taste test platter (Image: Food Network Canada/Insight Productions)

This week’s quickfire challenge was a Top Chef food nerd classic: the blind taste test, familiar to anyone who took the Pepsi Challenge way back when. Each blindfolded contestant had five minutes to identify the 20 sweet, salty, sour and bitter ingredients head judge Mark McEwan selected. François Gagnon totally choked, and was only able to pick out one item. As punishment, the show’s producers accompanied his comments with the requisite I’m-a-Frenchie accordion music, marking the first of many queasy ethnic stereotype moments. Gonzalez also faltered, but wins our award for the funniest misidentification for calling a piece of eggplant a “dry-ass cucumber.”

Chris Kanka and Dale MacKay both powered through the challenge, picking out sea asparagus, fermented black bean, cacao nib and miso paste with ease. In the end, Kanka won immunity by correctly identifying 13 ingredients. MacKay shrugged off the loss, pointing out that Kanka’s Asian cooking experience gave him an edge—“plus he’s an older guy.” Way to keep it classy, Dale.

Elimination

We totally called this on our last recap: this week’s elimination challenge was structured around Aykroyd’s notorious Crystal Head Vodka, which is sold in bottles shaped like skulls. The chefs were split into two teams, each charged with creating a traditional Russian zakuski meal—a sort of refined tapas featuring staples like pickled onion and kielbasa—which McEwan assured the chefs is traditionally “enjoyed while sipping copious amounts of vodka.” Naturally, the teams were decided by having contestants open up matryoshka dolls to reveal a blue or green coating inside. No, we’re not making this up.

Connie DeSousa’s winning dish (Image: Food Network Canada/Insight Productions)

On the blue team, sparks flew from the get go. The immune-from-elimination Kanka refused to take one for the team by making dessert (countless Top Chef contestants have been sent home for lousy desserts), despite pleading from the increasingly bossy MacKay. The unassuming Todd Perrin, whose sweet Newfie accent seems to get more pronounced with each episode, stepped forward in the end.

Over on the green team, Andrea Nicholson (of Great Cooks on Eight) made the best of what she admitted was the weaker team, by constantly correcting her teammates’ funny ideas about Russian food (“no offence, they don’t eat yogurt”; “Stop thinking about the Czech Republic, they’re two totally different countries”). We also learned at this point that Connie DeSousa was a ballerina for 18 years, which explains her intense focus and petite figure. (In reality TV land, of course, learning the back story means that she is either going to win or go home.)

After 90 minutes of frenzied cooking and kvetching, the chefs repaired to their too-cozy condo (complete with bunk beds) for some R’n’R, and a chance to get better acquainted with the sponsored vodka (one chef called it “the coolest bottle of vodka I’ve ever seen,” totally unprompted by the producers, we’re sure). Adorably, Gagnon was heard practicing some of the English slang Gonzalez and Grace’s Dustin Gallagher had taken it upon themselves to teach him (“‘Sick’, ‘gangster,’ I am working on the next one”).

Despite their shaky starts, by the time the two zakuski spreads made it to the judges (joined by a disappointingly sedate Aykroyd and Frank chef Anne Yarymowich), both teams managed to turn out some surprisingly complex and elegant plates. The green team’s DeSousa won with a cold dish of smoked garlic sausages on hand-made kasha and barley lavash, which the judges praised for its maturity. Also impressive was runner-up Nicholson’s plate of sauerkraut, smoked speck, pork loin and ribs, with a veal-and-rye bread meatball.

On the losing end, the judges had to decide between Gonzalez, whose mini-potato salad was insipid despite its bacon foam; Patrick Wiese, whose steelhead with vodka citrus crème fraîche was tasty but ugly (although Aykroyd did praise the “gourmet tater tot” that came with it); and MacKay, who put out a too-fishy cured salmon with white sturgeon caviar, and generally did a lousy job leading his team. Perrin, meanwhile, created a delightful parsnip blini for his dessert and got away scot-free.

Conclusion

In the end, Gonzalez got the axe, ridding the show of by far its most entertaining contestant. Although we’re despairing for watchability of future episodes, we fully expect Gagnon to step in and fill the role of the most ethnic funny one.

Next Week on Top Chef Canada

The contestants cook a meal inspired by a randomly assigned country and are judged by none other than Gallagher’s former boss, Susur Lee. Will the Asian-fusion pioneer play favourites? Is the Top Chef Canada set big enough to hold Lee and McEwan’segos at the same time? We’ll be watching.

Our weekly Top Chef Canada leader board:

Guu Sakabar’s open kitchen (Image: Gizelle Lau)

Despite rumours last week that the opening of Guu Sakabar (a.k.a. Guu 2) would be delayed due to the lack of a liquor licence, we’re happy to report that Toronto’s second Guu location opened this weekend. (Sakabar was originally set to open a couple weeks back, but was delayed due to a broken water tank). After almost a year of renovations, owner James Hyun-Soo Kim and Sakabar manager Natsuhiko Sugimoto, an eight-year veteran of Guu in Vancouver, are both eager to begin serving the Annex clientele.

Inside, the restaurant that was once a Burger King has been completely redesigned by Bennett Lo of Dialogue 38 (Guu Izakaya, Spring Rolls). The low-key exterior and main entrance of the Sakabar feature slate, barnwood and tiny boxed windows, just like the Church Street location. Inside, bare Edison light bulbs hang from the ceiling in the main dining room over six large wooden communal tables, complete with bench seating. Bar seating is also available for those who don’t mind the famous yelled greetings that the kitchen staff offer to patrons as they enter and exit. Unlike the original Guu, Sakabar also features a zashiki room, with a raised pine floor and tatami mats imported from Japan. The tables are lowered into the floor, providing ample space for your legs. Guests are required to remove their shoes and are offered a pair of indoor slippers.

Also setting itself apart from its sister restaurant, Sakabar is helmed by Japanese chef Ippei Iwata, who offers new dishes like the kushiage, Japanese-style deep-fried kebabs that come in seven variations—ham, bacon, quail egg, lotus root, potato, onion and mushroom ($1.90 each, $7.80 for five choices). A handful of new udon styles are available, including the unlikely carbonara udon, featuring bacon, onion and a half-boiled egg ($8.30). Another new dish straight out of Japan is the rice burger: a pair of rice patties sandwiching ginger pork, cabbage and garlic mayo ($5.80). To finish things off, the menu includes more extensive dessert selections, including sake tiramisù ($5).

In true Izakaya fashion, the drinks menu is extensive, including a house Gekkeikan sake ($5 small, $8.50 large), as well as a more extensive classic sake menu by the glass ($9.50–$10) or bottle (from $22 for 375 mL).  Other offerings include shochu, Guu original vodka soda, cocktails (like a sake mojito), plum wine and Sapporo on tap. Beers like Asahi, Kirin and even Mill Street Tankhouse Ale are also available.

The thing we love the most about Sakabar? There’s now an indoor corridor at the entrance so you don’t have to wait in the rain, sleet or snow for a table at Guu. And, in case you’re wondering, “Yes, there’s still a no reservation policy,” says Natsu, adding cheekily, “for now.”

Guu Sakabar, 559 Bloor St. W. (east of Bathurst St.), 647-343-1101, guu-izakaya.com

2:45 a.m., Cobra

“Let’s get drunk and fuck! Let’s get drunk and fuck!”

I’m at Cobra, a King West club in a sprawling basement underneath a 19th-century warehouse. In this neighbourhood, the best parties are either deep underground or high above in a rooftop bar. Cobra is decorated like a gothic funhouse, with a wall of glowing skulls and lots of black. The get-drunk-and-fuck directive bleats from a techno remix as coloured lights, inducing a kind of electric synesthesia, pulsate on the basement ceiling. To my left, two girls make out and topple over, knocking down their bottle service glassware. Guys eagerly watch from the sidelines, plotting how to make their move. My teeth chatter from the vibrating bass. I down a shot that’s half Sour Puss and half vodka, proffered by a human Barbie doll bartender.

I’d arrived at 11:30 p.m., waited my turn to pass through the velvet rope, and carefully made my way down the steep staircase (a bitch to do when you’re wearing six-inch stilettos, like most women here, including me). At first the club was nearly empty, with men and women separated in groups as if it were a middle school dance. But as the night progressed, the room filled and the ladies began to pose and grind for an audience of ethnically diverse guys in shiny loafers. Every once in a while, a waitress walks by holding a tray laden with liquor bottles. When a patron orders a $650 bottle of Cristal, Cobra attaches a sparkler to it with an elastic, so it lights a pathway to the club’s very important patrons as the waitress carries it across the room.

One by one, the guys attack—placing clammy hands on trim waists, stubble on well-moisturized cheeks, come-ons on deaf ears. Conversation consists of “What’s up tonight?” and “I can’t hear you, the music’s too loud!” By 3 a.m., the club is nearly empty except for one or two defiant couples, courting the inevitability of what happens at the end of the night.

The opening event for the Thompson Hotel was the high point of cool for the neighbourhood and a warning of the coming deluge of weekend partiers

The entrances to many of the neighbourhood’s nightclubs are hidden in brick-paved alleys that were originally designed to ship products more efficiently to the street’s warehouses. Outside Cobra, three chicks from Western smoke on a striped chaise longue by a cluster of heat lamps, and giggle over the guys they rejected. They tell me they drove in for the weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday. The prettiest of them, a fragile 20-year-old blonde with a passing resemblance to Kirsten Dunst, is wearing a black lace dress from Urban Behavior, rhinestone earrings from Ardene, $25 bejewelled satin pumps and no coat even though it’s zero degrees and dropping.

I turn my attention back to the street. It’s time I go home to Parkdale, but hailing a cab is a nightmare: King West is a tangle of stretch Hummers and lost packs of bachelorettes. My idea of a big night out used to consist of drinking PBR in a dingy bar in Little Portugal. But over the past few months, as I attempted to figure out why King West became one giant party, I spent nearly every weekend on the strip, dining on foie gras at Brassaii, getting my makeup retouched at C Lounge, avoiding groping guys at the Firkin. Throughout my travels, I met a concert promoter in his late 50s named Gerry, who invited me back to his multimillion-dollar house on Richmond, where we smoked pot and listened to Captain Beefheart; a cop who flashed me his badge and pretended to arrest me “for being so beautiful”; and a guy who swore he wasn’t a rapist as he begged me to join him in his limo. As I make my way home, it occurs to me that this is the only neighbourhood in Toronto where people make direct eye contact.

If we shilled vodka, we'd probably have to wear sunglasses inside too (Image: Chelsea Oakes)

Dan Aykroyd is doing the media rounds to promote his role as the voice of Yogi Bear in the new digital version of the cartoon. In a Q&A about the film with Globe and Mail, he let slip that a third Ghostbusters is sort of in the works. The script is complete and is “probably one of the best comic scripts I’ve ever read.” Aykroyd also divulged that it contains the “the role of a lifetime” for Bill Murray. Anna Faris is also rumoured to be involved.

The Globe also asked the actor about his Crystal Head Vodka, which the LCBO banned because of its skull-shaped bottle. Like our commenters, Aykroyd thinks the boycott is unnecessary but also inconvenient. He spends his summers in Ontario and has to drive to Watertown, New York to buy it. Aykroyd is hoping our stick-in-the-mud liquor control board will come around so we can enjoy the  Newfoundland-distilled vodka he happily pushes (and imbibes).

View the photos now >>

(Image: Nico Nelson)

We were surprised to learn that National Vodka Day occurs every year on October 4 (and not every weekday at 5 p.m. as previously thought). As our inboxes filled with press releases from vodka companies celebrating the day of fermented potatoes, we wondered what other random food holidays are out there. Turns out, a lot. (Happy strawberry cream pie day!)

According to food magazine The Nibble, the president of the United States determines these holidays—which are lobbied for by public relations firms, trade associations, industries, events, etc.—and declares a day dedicated to the food item. It’s pretty much like getting the key to a city or having a street temporarily renamed after a celebrity: a corporate press release hidden under the thin veil of something official and government-sounding.

So, let’s drink to that.

Tove and Hayden Christensen with Thandie Newton (Image: Philip Chin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images)

Hayden Christensen used the force (of his celebrity) to give Ultra’s DJ a break at his party on Saturday night. At the 29-year-old Thornhill-raised actor’s request, Toronto hip-hop artist K-Os commandeered the turntables until around 1 a.m.

With a cardboard cut-out of Darth Vader looming in the window of the Adidas store across the street, the real(-ish) Anakin Skywalker and his 37-year-old brother Tove hoisted Belvedere vodka bottles at a party for their production company, Forest Park Pictures. While the stars were on their best behaviour, the crowd was a little rowdy, with one man dancing with a bottle of Belvedere shoved down his pants.

The Brothers Christensen hung out in a roped-off VIP section with Thandie Newton, Hayden’s co-star in his TIFF flick Vanishing on Seventh Street, and The King’s Speech co-star Geoffrey Rush. Christensen partied until the bar’s extended 4 a.m. last call, when he took to the stage to thank everyone for coming. Ultra staff say he finally called it a night at 6 a.m. Apparently when you look like Christensen, beauty sleep is optional.

= Find this story on our Celebrity Sightings Map, where we plot the locations of stars spotted throughout Toronto

James Franco and director Danny Boyle at the Vanity Fair, Belvedere and Fox Searchlight party at the Thompson Hotel to celebrate their film 127 Hours. (Image: Tom Sandler)

The TIFF celebrity brigade was out in full force at the Thompson Hotel on Saturday night to celebrate the films from Fox Searchlight: Conviction, Black Swan, Never Let Me Go and 127 Hours. Cast members (and a few of their friends) who swung by included Hilary Swank, Sam Rockwell, Minnie Driver, James Franco, Josh Brolin, Juliette Lewis, Marion Cotillard and Carey Mulligan. Also spotted were director Darren Aronofsky, comedian David Cross and basketball legend Steve Nash.

Officially dubbed the Vanity Fair, Belvedere and Fox Searchlight Party, the event became a crowded affair once the rain started falling and guests poured inside from the patios, clutching their special-for-the-occasion vodka cocktails (we had a very sweet liquid interpretation of 127 Hours that, to be fair, tasted rather good for a drink inspired by a man pinned under a boulder for five days). The celebs seemed to take the weather in stride, coming and going throughout the night under canopies of black umbrellas and, in one case, lighting up a cigarette in one of the booths.

= Find this story on our Celebrity Sightings Map, where we plot the locations of stars spotted throughout Toronto

A Biutiful night: Javier Bardem at the Soho House on Friday (Image: Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Grey Goose Vodka)

“Name?”
“Paul Haggis.”
“I’m sorry, it’s not on the list.”

Josh Brolin, standing nearby with a cigarette, breaks into hysterics.

This was the scene last night at Soho House—a branch of the international members-only club that’s opened in Toronto just for the duration of TIFF—where stars of the highest wattage gathered to fête Javier Bardem and his new movie, Biutiful. The confusion eventually cleared up, partially thanks to a woman leaving the party who noted “he’s a director” and the hotly sought, Ontario-raised Oscar-winner swung into the lush party space. And yes, Brolin got in too.

Once inside the Grey Goose vodka party, we observe Brolin being introduced to Blake Lively—they talk well into the night—and Josh Lucas walking purposefully back and forth, schmoozing with no one in particular. Producer Harvey Weinstein, fresh off a rave reception for the premiere of his historical drama The King’s Speech, talks up a Hollywood power agent. Bardem, whose new movie is apparently making grown men and women cry, smokes pensively.

Haggis’s agenda is officially free of film responsibilities this week. Saturday’s second annual Artists for Peace and Justice gala at Pears is his only advertised commitment. “I have people calling me up, asking if they can come,” he tells us. “Of course you can come! You’re a huge movie star!”

Bardem is one of such “huge movie stars” talking about hitting Pears on Saturday night (we actually saw him later last night getting a sneak preview of the Pears space). If New York artist Peter Tunney gets his way, Bardem will be donning a smock over his suit as part of the Artists for Peace and Justice event tomorrow night. He is considering giving the stars smocks, canvases and brushes and asking them to create a work of art on behalf of the charity (last year, Tunney convinced Olivia Wilde, Kim Cattrall and Colin Farrell to stamp footprints of paint on a canvas). “That’s as of 30 minutes ago, so things can change,” laughs Tunney.

We guess a vodka party is no place to iron out the finer details of any project.

= Find this story on our Celebrity Sightings Map, where we plot the locations of stars spotted throughout Toronto

Here's The Situation: Mike Sorrentino has even been hired to flog this stuff (Image: MTV)

A new protein-infused vodka from the States known as Devotion may be making its way to Canada in the near future, according to the product’s Facebook page. “We will be getting Canada devoted this next week. Hold tight,” the page said.

And hold tight we shall. The concept behind Devotion Vodka is as simple as it is incongruous: the 80-proof booze contains a bodybuilding supplement known as PeptoPro—a milk protein derived from casein. The idea was apparently born when company president Drew Adelman realized there was a niche market of people who “wanted to adhere to their lifestyle, and also have a good time.”

While the product’s Web site makes no claims about the vodka’s muscle-building effectiveness, its new spokesperson is the infamous fitness buff–partier Mike Sorrentino—better known as The Situation.

As for getting the product on shelves in Ontario, we’re not holding our breath, seeing as how simply having a cool bottle or an uncool mascot is liable to get a product banned here. In the meantime, we suppose we’ll have to get buff the old-fashioned way: while sober.

• We’ve Got a Situation – Devotion Vodka [Slashfood]