Prominent Toronto-born conservative David Frum is going to have to find another tank in which to do his thinking. Last week, after being a little too pointed in his blog-based criticism of Republicans’ failed strategy to defeat health care reform (shouting racial epithets at congressmen, calling democratically elected leaders fascist dictators, etc.), Frum was fired from his $100,000 job at the conservative think-tank American Enterprise Institute (AEI). He also turned down AEI’s offer of an unpaid position (presumably because working for free would have been socialist). Since then, the media has not been able to get enough of the story, with Frum appearing on Good Morning America today and Christopher Buckley rushing to his defence in the Daily Beast.
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Ann Coulter comes to Ontario to tell us gay men throw like girls, can’t marry
We were wondering why the weather in Toronto suddenly turned chilly, but then we read this. That’s right, Ann Coulter is in our midst, and she is getting quite a cool reception. The hotheaded conservative pundit is in Ottawa today for her second stop in a three-city university tour, but before she even stepped on Canadian soil, she received a letter from the University of Ottawa provost, Francois Houle, reminding her of Canada’s freedom of speech laws, which prohibit hate speech toward identifiable groups. The letter was immediately leaked to selected outlets: the National Post and Newsmax, a conservative news provider in the U.S. Unsurprisingly, Coulter failed to take Houle’s caution to heart and attacked gays, Muslims, feminists and immigrants.
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Gene Simmons finally signs a band to his Canadian label

The Envy is first Canadian band to woo Gene Simmons
One famously long tongue is wagging as Toronto band The Envy becomes the envy of other local new wave start-ups.
It was announced this week that after 16 months of searching, Gene Simmons has signed the first band to his revolutionary Canadian label, Simmons Records. The organization is a partnership with Universal Music Canada and Belinda Stronach, whose interest in heavy metal apparently extends beyond her work at Magna International.
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Milk in bags: that’s so Canadian
Today’s viral hit is a YouTube video made by Sheryl Ng, a York University student who explains the concept of drinking milk from a bag as opposed to a carton or jug. Western Canada and the entirety of the United States (the video is addressed to the latter) thinks Ontarians are as weird as Maritimers and the Québécois—the only known people who drink bagged milk. There’s a lot to explain, apparently: in the three-minute video, Ng goes into great detail about the size of one’s bag opening, the ideal pouring angle and how to prevent “the fridge smell” from getting into the milk.
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Canadian cuisine considered legitimate now that it’s appeared on ABC News
In the rare moments when Americans consider Canadians, do they still think of self-conscious, snowmobile-riding, backwoods-living lumberjacks out to stymie their convenience with vending machine–defying coins? Probably not—unless, of course, they work for ABC News, which recently posted this video profile of Canadian cuisine. The venerable broadcaster tells viewers that, although it would be impossible to spot a Canadian on Fifth Avenue (we are so unremarkable), our food is gaining popularity all over Manhattan. But what exactly does ABC consider “food” from the land of socialized health care and gay marriage? Why, Tim Hortons, of course, which represents all things Canadian: hockey, maple-covered doughnuts and curling (yes, curling). And then there’s poutine, that trendy Québécois concoction that was recently profiled in the New Yorker and that Lower East Siders are scarfing down by the kilogram.
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The city vs. Ossington, Michaëlle Jean takes heart, more kitchen nightmares for Ramsay

Halted hip-ocracy: Restaurants like Pizzeria Libretto were lucky to open before the city stopped issuing licences (Photo by Ingorrr)
• Due to an increase in noise complaints from residents, the city has put a year-long moratorium on restaurant and bar licences being issued to spots on the Ossington strip. Restaurants that applied before Tuesday at 2 p.m., like Paul Boehmer’s upcoming resto-market, are safe. [National Post]
• The backlash over Governor General Michaëlle Jean’s ingesting a raw seal heart during a traditional feasting ceremony in Nunavut has reached international levels. PETA used the words “blood lust” and “Neanderthal,” and a spokesperson for the EU Environment Commissioner called the event “too bizarre to acknowledge.” Elsewhere, New York gossip site Gawker called her “Canada’s Sarah Palin.” [CBC]
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Toronto’s secret dinner clubs, Labatt keeps it Canadian, eating during labour
• Beer may be the saviour of the recession. As rumours fly that the auto industry will close plants, Labatt promises to stay right here in Canada. The CEO of North American Breweries says there are no plans to move production to the United States. [Buffalo News]
• Talk about exclusive; the latest thing on Toronto’s avant-garde eating scene is clandestine dining. Charlie’s Burgers is an anonymous “anti-restaurant” that takes on-line reservations for mystery meals at secret locations, adding new complexity to the how-to-get-a-table dilemma. [Toronto Star]
• A former Maple Leaf Foods plant employee has been charged with lacing Schneider’s meat products with sewing needles. With new stats that show consumers still steer clear of the brand, we wonder what fate awaits the meat packer. [National Post]
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Denied: Posner’s wry prose more or less sends Black to jail until 2013
Yesterday, in 16 pages of tightly woven legal reasoning, Richard Posner more or less put paid to whatever faint hope remained that Conrad Black will see a free day anytime before 2013. Moreover, he ensures that, barring a judicial miracle, Black’s co-conspirators Jack Boultbee and Peter Atkinson will join him as guests of the United States on or about July 10. Posner is among the most estimable minds on the American bench, and his decision reflects its author’s eclectic, sometimes eccentric, but always razor sharp intellect. The prose possessed a sniffily dismissive and wry air. In explaining the nub of Black’s fraudulent endeavours Posner writes:
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Lesson #18,330,424 from the Conrad Black trial: Simplify
For as long as he remains a guest of the United States—and perhaps right to the gates of Paradise—I suspect Conrad Black will hear ringing in his ears the following exchange between Judge Richard Posner and Andrew Frey recorded at Black’s oral appeal to the Seventh Circuit (I’ve edited the exchange for the purposes of clarity):
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When it comes to the ethics of embedding journalists, Christie Blatchford misses the big picture (again)
I spent last week working in L.A.—an experience like no other, one that could make even the most deluded dreamer crave Toronto’s low-ceilinged ambitions. On Monday, seeking to inoculate myself against the general lunacy abroad in the land, I attended a sober Memorial Day ceremony at the Los Angeles National Cemetery. And while even this event had its share of native nuttiness (among the colour guard was an outfit called the Sons of Confederate Veterans, complete with period costume and a confederate flag), I was still struck by the unironic and severe atmosphere that is central to such American commemorations. During the Pledge of Allegiance, every person present (save the odd interloper) enunciated the national creed loudly and clearly, right hand draped over heart: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
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On the hook for Conrad Black’s legal bills
There’s a thick vein of irony running through the tortuously long odyssey of United States v. Conrad Black, et al. And with the final chapter to be written June 5 (when oral arguments are made before the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals), Judge Leo Strine of the Delaware Court of Chancery offers one of the richest paradoxes to date. Strine, you might remember, effectively blocked Black’s efforts to sell the Telegraph out from under Hollinger International shareholders. Regarding that case of corporate litigation, Strine wrote: “It became almost impossible for me to credit his word…. I found Black evasive and unreliable. His explanations of key events and of his own motivations do not have the ring of truth.”
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