(Photo by Kyle T. Ramirez)

• While covering the cheeseburger beat for the Chicago Tribune, Kevin Pang scarfed down 60 different versions of the patty-and-bun classic. Now on a beef detox program of carrot sticks and flax seeds, Pang serves up his collected wisdom. On condiments: hold the ketchup and the mustard, but don’t forget the mayo. On french fries: while greasing them in duck fat is trendy, beef tallow provides a more robust taste. On flavour combinations: nothing beats cheese, bacon and caramelized onions. [Chicago Tribune]

• One lucky bidder will get the chance to work as Martha Stewart’s intern for the bargain-basement cost of $3,600. The American tastemaker is auctioning off a six-week paid internship to raise money for her eponymous centre at Mount Sinai Mission. Is this her take on stimulus spending or a version of home economics she picked up in prison? [Eat Me Daily]

• Low-calorie beef jerky is the first commercial offering from Elizabeth Hurley’s U.K. company. Set to go on sale this week, the organic, “guilt-free” snack is packaged with a drawing of the screen siren, formerly known as Hugh Grant’s girlfriend, lying on the ground in a black cocktail dress (likely the frock she wears while tending her cattle). The product is expected to appeal to calorie-conscious Brits with an equal taste for dried meat and bad acting. [Guardian]

• Of the papaya’s three sexes—male, female, hermaphrodite—it is only the cross-sexual variety that bears luscious fruit. There is no way for farmers to tell the plant’s sex until it has started to flower, which leads to an enormous waste of time and space. Scientists from the University of Illinois, the Hawaii Agriculture Research Center, Texas A&M University and Miami University, however, have come up with a solution: give the seeds a sex change so they always bear big melons. [MNN]

• Researchers at McMaster University have developed paper strips that can test whether garden-variety grub is laced with pesticides. The 10-centimetre strips can detect five or six kinds of toxins and turn different colours depending on how much poison is present in the produce. These “dipsticks” might one day prevent disasters like those at Walkerton or Maple Leaf Foods, as long as they can be adapted to detect E. coli, listeria and salmonella. They may even be used by the military to detect chemical warfare agents. [National Post]