Weddings Week 2011: at our anonymous roundtable, four seasoned bridesmaids tell all

Newly betrothed ladies who want to avoid the bridezilla path can learn a thing or two from these four seasoned bridesmaids: they’ve donned ill-fitting taffeta, nursed drunken guests and talked many a bride down from the ledge. We plied them with drinks and grilled them about their wedding experiences, from day one of the planning process until the morning-after farewell brunch

Who’s Who
Kate, a 33-year-old grad student; Megan, a 26-year-old writer; Brook, a 33-year-old who works in marketing; Sam, a 25-year-old non-profit worker (All names have been changed)

Let’s start with the obvious: why are bridesmaid dresses notoriously ugly?

Sam: The hideousness begins with the fabric: all that sateen. It’s awful and unflattering—you would never wear that on any other occasion. And there’s this accepted norm that as a bridesmaid, you’re going to look like crap, and apparently that’s OK.

Kate: It’s because the bride wants to look better.

Brook: Which is so terrible!

Sam: Let me at least look passable, so if I’m single, I can at least try to get with a decent-looking guy. My worst dress ever was a horrible purple. It was like wearing a rotting Barney carcass. I had to order it from the States. When I went to the mother of the bride’s house to pick it up, she looked me up and down and goes, “If this doesn’t fit, you can’t be in the wedding.” Glad to see your priorities are in line.

Kate: For me, the worst one was a floor-length taffeta, but I’m lucky. I’ve been a bridesmaid nine times, and I’ve had mostly good dresses.

Megan: But has anyone actually worn one again?

Brook: I had one shortened and wore it again, but maybe that was ill advised. It’s pretty obvious when someone has recycled an old bridesmaid’s dress. After a few drinks, I’d probably call them on it.

Megan: My absolute worst was a peach brocade with a V waistline. It was tea length, with a crinoline. And we had dyed-to-match satin shoes. This was within the past 10 years—not 1981.

Brook: I had one with a train—I ended up putting a heel through it. It had tons of holes by the end of the night. Who picks bridesmaid dresses with a train?

Sam: You end up looking the way you wanted to look back at your high school prom, before you realized what a bad idea that was.

Brook: And then there are the alterations. I feel like it’s some kind of conspiracy in the bridal industry. You spend $400 on a dress that looks like a garbage bag on you, and then you have to pay another hundred to make it fit.

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