“This feels like an open house for a home everyone wants to buy but can’t afford,” a friend remarked at the Control Alt Delete after-party last night, which was aptly held at Wicked. Now, in case you’ve been living under a rock, Wicked is the West Queen West club where sexy couples go to mingle with other couples or singles. We weren’t the only curious souls; we noticed a high concentration of National Post staffers during our exploration of the three-storey sex palace. At first, we thought the Post sponsored the party—their logo was proudly displayed along the stairwell—but it seems they’ve just written about this club a lot. That, plus the Control Alt Delete–themed computer-and-hardware decor prompted one Postie to remark, “I kind of feel like I’m at work.” After the jump, a sexy run-in with Tyler Labine.
The ick factor was surprisingly low, but only a few brave souls dared to get comfortable on the empty beds. We were just pondering the one-towel-per-person policy and considering why a certain manoeuvre earns you two extra towels, when we noticed Canadian TV star Tyler Labine chatting with a pretty girl at the bar while a scene of him butt-naked humping a computer came up on the nearby screen. It was the most awkward moment since Ben Kingsley got it on with Mary-Kate Olsen in The Wackness:
“You know, it’s usually porn that plays up there,” said a guy standing beside them with one of the club’s dancers.“It’s kind of like porn,” retorted Labine. “I could be fucking a woman.” “Yeah…but you’re not.”
After Labine walked away, the guy said to the dancer, “He’s come a long way from Breaker High.”
Taking in her surroundings and turning to the screen where Labine was now in full compu-thrust, the girl snapped, “Really?”
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.—Melita Kuburas
Related:• Testing out the equipment at wicked
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