The many joys and sorrows that come with living in this city are captured in animated GIFs on a new Tumblr blog, Toronto Strife (a veiled shout-out to another Toronto publication? We’d like to think so). Few aspects of city living have gone untouched: there’s the crazy expensive real estate market, rush-hour transit horrors, the city’s collective obsession with food trucks, and even a few digs at neighbouring ’burbs. We’ve already wasted more time than we’d care to admit sitting in front of our computer, giggling. (h/t Hamutal Dotan)
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Living in Toronto gets the animated GIF treatment (and it’s hilarious)
Councillors try—and fail—to wriggle out of jury duty
Adam Vaughan says an exemption from jury duty would be “ a recognition of the work we do here” (Image Christopher Drost)
A majority of city councillors want to get out of serving jury duty like federal and provincial politicians (making us wonder which councillor was recently mailed a summons). On Wednesday, city council voted 23 to 11 in favour of asking the province to exempt them from jury duty after Adam Vaughan suggested councillors are performing a role much too tied to the courts system for them to be eligible jurors. (The outcome annoyed the civic-minded Doug Holyday, who said councillors “can go through it just like an ordinary citizen would”). However, a spokeswoman for the Attorney General has already nixed the idea, saying the province has no plans to amend the Juries Act. Looks like councillors will have to dream up some other excuse. [Toronto Sun]
Igor Kenk’s stolen bicycles will ride again (high schoolers are making sure of it)
Ever wonder what happened to the collection of stolen bicycles belonging (well, sort of) to bike-hoarder extraordinaire Igor Kenk? They’ve found a good home, according to CBC. The bulk of the almost 3,000 unclaimed bikes, partial bikes and frames were given to the Cabbagetown Youth Centre back in 2010, which gave the damaged ones to the Toronto District School Board—who, in turn, passed them to Central Commerce Collegiate Institute on Shaw Street south of Harbord (which, oddly, is just a few blocks north of Kenk’s original headquarters at Queen and Strachan). The school put the hundreds of bikes in empty classrooms—called “the boneyard” by students—and started up a bike repair class in September. The class is in hot demand with the high schoolers, who get to take their bike home at the end of the year. Good thing, thanks to Kenk’s prolific thievery, the school has enough bikes to last a decade. [CBC]
GALLERY: Donald Trump, Rob Ford and more VIPs at the opening of the Trump Tower
The new Trump International Hotel and Tower is over the top—naturally, so was the opening. Rob and Doug Ford (along with Rob’s wife Renata, who made a rare public appearance with her husband), Blue Jay J.P. Arencibia and Maple Leaf John-Michael Liles were all on hand to watch Donald Trump and his kids Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jr. cut the ribbon on the tower (using gold-plated scissors brought in on silver trays by scantily-clad models, of course). Technically, the 65-storey luxury behemoth at Bay and Adelaide opened its doors in January, but, hey, everyone loves a ceremony, especially when it involves The Donald entering in a procession of Toronto police officers and bagpipes. See all the photos »
QUOTED: U of T president David Naylor explains why Toronto is just like Woody Allen
(Image: Blaise Alleyne)
—University of Toronto president David Naylor, telling residents to give the self-deprecation a rest and start talking loudly about how awesome Toronto is (just ignore the fact that the rest of Canada loves to hate on it). Naylor, who was amply quoted in Marcus Gee’s column in the Globe and Mail this weekend, provides some numbers to prove that Toronto is kicking butt: globally, the city ranks third for livability, fourth as an innovation hub and sixth for business competitiveness, and—despite an insane real estate market—Toronto is only the world’s 59th most expensive metropolis. Naylor even offers up a new city slogan: “It’s all here” (which, though brash, is a whole lot better than “Detroit Junior”). [Globe and Mail]
City council considers turning construction dirt into idyllic islands in Lake Ontario
Yesterday, the city’s public works committee heard a proposal to create a series of islands near the mouth of the Humber River (because after you build something like the Eglinton doom trolley light rail line, all that excavated dirt has to, you know, go somewhere). Apparently, the man-made archipelago would act as a barrier to the polluted water that flows from the Humber into Lake Ontario, improving the water quality at nearby Sunnyside Beach. If council approves the scheme, the islands could be landscaped, populated with wildlife and opened to the public, making for an idyllic picnic destination. That is, until someone tries to turn them into a red light district. Read the entire story [Toronto Star] »
The trick to getting your way at city hall: always bring strippers
(Image: litonali)
What a week of debauchery at city hall. First, Giorgio Mammoliti revived his idea for a red-light district on Toronto Island, and then, this afternoon, a stripper wearing black patent vinyl shorts did a little pole dancing for Toronto’s licensing and standards committee. Apparently, the city’s strip club owners want the committee to review its adult entertainment regulations to clearly define what constitutes “prohibited sexual contact,” and they brought along the lovely Viviana to help make their case. Though Doug Holyday thought it unseemly and Mike Layton called it “a new low,” the floorshow appears to have worked: the committee unanimously voted in favour of the review. Sadly, Mammo missed out on all the fun. Read the entire story [CBC] »
QUOTED: Apparently, there are secret bordellos in pretty much all of the city’s condo buildings
There have been brothels in practically every condo and apartment building in Toronto. People have no idea they exist, we are so discreet.
—Valerie Scott of Sex Professionals of Canada, a 53-year-old former prostitute, explaining to the Toronto Star that, really, local residents shouldn’t be worried about brothels springing up all over the city now that houses of bawdy are set to be legal. (No need to fret about mega-brothels with people fornicating on the lawn either, she says.) Why? Because brothels are already everywhere! And, as far as we know, lawn sex is totally minimal. [Toronto Star]
Now that brothels are legal, Giorgio Mammoliti (once again) wants to put some on Toronto Island
(Image: Like_the_Grand_Canyon)
The province’s Court of Appeal legalized brothels in Ontario yesterday, sparking celebration, awkward headlines and some political opportunism from one Giorgio Mammoliti. Surprised? Neither are we. The landmark ruling is gives the go-ahead for brothels, though communicating for the purposes of prostitution will remain illegal.
Read the rest of this entry »
Bob Barker offers $880,000 for Toronto elephants to fly private
(Image: fireballk2588)
The estimated cost to Bob Barker to charter a private plane and bring Toronto Zoo’s trio of elephants to a California sanctuary: $880,000. The one-time The Price Is Right host and all-time sweetheart is making good on his offer to cover airfare for the Zoo’s much-talked-about elephants. Apparently, Iringa, Thika and Toka will travel by private jet because Iringa has a bad foot, ruling out a long-haul road trip. And you didn’t expect them to fly coach, did you? Read the entire story [Globe and Mail] »
QUOTED: Denzil Minnan-Wong offers Rob Ford a few words of political wisdom
(Image: Christopher Drost)
—Rob Ford ally Denzil Minnan-Wong, reflecting on the implications of yesterday’s transit vote, yet another big defeat for Ford—and a comfortable win for his opponents. Ford supporters will no doubt continue to paint Karen Stintz as a turncoat, but the mayor is facing off against a sizable and emboldened opposition, and, as Minnan-Wong said, he’s going to have to learn to get things done with council as it is now, not like it was in the early days of his administration. [Globe and Mail]
A photo tour of Air Canada’s Boeing 787 Dreamliner—coming to an airspace near you in 2014
Captain Michael Downey, currently the only Air Canada pilot certified to fly the Dreamliner (Image: David Pike)
On Friday, we went to Air Canada’s hangar to preview its Boeing 787 Dreamliner, the newest airplane in its fleet, which will hit the skies beginning in 2014 (seven more will debut later that year, and another 30 between 2015 and 2019). The plane is being heralded for its capacity to carry up to 17 tonnes of cargo, which is 55 per cent more than the company’s 767-300ER can carry. From the looks of it we can tell you this: overhead storage could fit a human body, and the six-foot-seven first-class clearance means there’s a lot of room to feel smug about travelling business class. Even the windows are 30 per cent larger than those of other aircraft flying out of Pearson, and they can be dimmed at the touch of a button (no more agonizing over shoddy shutters to help you sleep). Between 210 and 290 passengers will fly in each aircraft, and they’re going to feel very, very small (in the best possible way). Take a photo tour of the Boeing 787 Dreamliner after the jump »
Toronto Zoo’s orangutans to get an iPad—and the chance to fingerpaint, 21st century–style
Just monkeying around... (Image: chem7)
Apparently, Orangutan Outreach, an American conversation group spearheading the Apps for Apes program, is putting the Toronto Zoo’s primates at the front of the line for a shiny new tablet computer. The group’s founder and director has been paying close attention to the Milwaukee Zoo’s orangutans, which have been playing with their own iPad since last year. There, zookeepers hold onto the tablet while the animals use an app to fingerpaint; the theory goes that the act takes some of the monotony out of life in captivity. With iPads in enough zoos, the animals could even start hanging out via video chat (seriously, that’s part of Orangutan Outreach’s grand plan). Though we have to wonder if giving the apes other, lesser tablets would make them just as happy—or if they would feel unsatisfied, inferior and just generally uncool. Read the entire story [Toronto Star] »
Toronto Zoo’s elephants could be guzzling Gatorade on their way to a hot tub party in Cali
With the Toronto Zoo’s three remaining elephants—the all-female trio of Toka, Iringa and Thika—ready to depart for a warmer locale, the Toronto Star offers a look at what the Detroit Zoo did to move two of its own animals to the PAWS sanctuary in California (to which we say, Detroit? Really?). Apparently, the pair of pachyderms was loaded onto a truck equipped with remote cameras and thermometers that enabled zoo staff to monitor the animals and keep tabs on the temperature. Also, the truck contained a healthy supply of Gatorade—the elephants need to be properly hydrated in time to hit the Jacuzzi, after all. Read the entire story [Toronto Star] »
(Images: hot tub, Jeannine Cousin; elephants, Thierry)
Apparently, Markham and other Toronto suburbs are stealing downtown’s “mojo”
The Grid has some upsetting news for all the latte-sipping, bicycle-riding, downtown pinkos who are pining for more “urbanist” policies: Markham is looking better and better. The weekly reports that Toronto suburbs are adopting policies and tackling projects that would make Jane Jacobs proud—like networks of bike lanes and improved rapid transit. Even more interesting, though, is that while these sorts of civic initiatives may seem sacrilegious to Rob Ford, they’re being undertaken by a Markham mayor who’s simultaneously slashing spending and cutting staff. Which makes us wish the politicians in the clamshell would focus more on the possibility of progress and less on service cuts and regressive policies (even with a fiscal conservative at the helm)—because, seriously, it’s kind of embarrassing when Markham is kicking your ass. Read the entire story [The Grid] »
