Our city wasn’t always thus. The Santa Claus parade started innocently enough in 1905. The man in red arrived at Union Station by train, was greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Eaton and then proceeded up Simcoe Street to their department store. Then, somehow, it evolved into the giant six-kilometre, 1,500-participant extravaganza it is today.
Gay Pride, which also began modestly, has spawned triplets: a main parade, a dyke march and a trans parade. Likewise, Ride for Heart, which originally commandeered a few streets, now shuts down both the Don Valley Parkway and the Gardiner Expressway. (The Heart and Stroke Foundation, for the record, does not clog arteries in any other Canadian city.)
Are we getting the world’s biggest outdoor dog festival, the longest-running Santa parade and the charity bike-a-thon with the highest number of participants because we’re Canada’s Number One City? Or is something else at work here? Are we perhaps Canada’s Number One City of Suckers?
Maybe I shouldn’t blame the sorry-you’ve-stepped-on-my-foot reaction on being Canadian. Perhaps Toronto-specific DNA lacks the protest gene. We didn’t call a general strike when the provincial government off-loaded the cost of social services onto us. We voted against amalgamation, then submitted to it. We put up with garbage, literally. For five weeks last summer, we obediently hauled our reeking bags to designated sites.
Then there was the G20. We wanted it to be held at Exhibition Place. When the feds decided instead to shut down the heart of our financial district—thus paralyzing much of the city—they didn’t even bother to consult our mayor. And we swallowed it, just as we’ve swallowed the Harmonized Sales Tax. In British Columbia, opponents have filed a constitutional challenge, and 700,000 people signed an anti-HST petition. No such mobilization here.
Perhaps our meekness is a psychic remnant of our identity as Toronto the Good. This is, after all, the city that drew curtains across shop windows to avoid tempting Sunday shoppers, that still has a street called “Temperance.” Or maybe we’re multicultural cowards, afraid of raining on someone else’s parade. We continually congratulate ourselves for living in harmony, for being a city where even historic enemies like Turks and Armenians, Chinese and Japanese, Pakistanis and Indians get along. No one wants to destabilize this delicate dynamic. If we get our festival, you most certainly can have yours—as long as you pick another weekend this summer.
At least we put our foot down in the marathon department—sort of. Until this year, we had duelling races every fall. A city manager had to shuttle back and forth, Middle East peace talks style, until GoodLife Fitness Toronto Marathon finally conceded the coveted autumn slot to Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon. Starting in 2011, GoodLife will plug up the roads every May instead.
If this keeps up, we’ll become hostages in our own city, glued to Gary Welsh’s Web site, desperately seeking an alternative route.
So I’m putting my foot down. Please don’t ask me to support your charity walk or run. I’ll pledge money for almost any cause—if you’ll weed my lawn. Ten cents a dandelion, as long as you get the root. Or you can rake my leaves. I pledge $2.50 a bag, placed on the curb. It’s good exercise. It eliminates leaf blowers. And it keeps you off my streets.
poor old Jan Wong. She was much better when she took chicks out to lunch and then slimed them in her Globe column.
September 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm | by davidWhy is the Chinatown festival o.k, JAN WONG ? I think the more street parties the better. Let different cultures celebrate. Let orginizations do fun things that inspire participation ,for charity. Why do you want to kill fun in Toronto? Because it took you an extra 10 minutes to get where you going one day. I have friends and family who visit T.O. in the summer and they love the atmosphere that these festivals provide.
September 1, 2010 at 3:29 pm | by DavisAww, poor Jan. Caught in traffic a few too many times because you failed to listen to the traffic updates on the news? That’s quite the sob story you tell. I can’t say that I agree with you one bit. Street Festivals are what bring out the people to celebrate the city’s diversity, beauty and all it has to offer. If you know enough to check the traffic and keep up with what’s going on in the city, you don’t run into these problems. Street closures happen for more reasons than just festivals. Street repairs, traffic accidents, charity marathons, etc…but of course you don’t see people up in huff about them.
Don’t complain just because you were careless enough not to keep up to date on the city’s goings-on. We always check the weather forecast when planning an outing…checking the traffic before you go out should be no different.
Yes Jan, it is your fault that you got stuck in a traffic jam this past weekend. Suck it up.
September 1, 2010 at 3:53 pm | by Jim ToddNever really have this problem on my bike.
September 1, 2010 at 4:11 pm | by wahhhI have to partially agree with this.
There are plenty of other ways to celebrate without causing major traffic paralysis. Some people work on weekends too, you know! and TTC is not the most reliable option lately, or not even an option sometimes (especially when streets are blocked).
How about hosting this events in the many, many parks/parking lots/general empty spaces you see all around the city, even in downtown?
This is the way it’s done in various other cities and countries, and I was fairly shocked when I arrived to Toronto that we had this many street festivals. Not that I don’t enjoy them, but I think there should be a better filtering when it comes to closing down roads.
September 1, 2010 at 4:12 pm | by JaeJan Wong, perhaps city life is not for you.
September 1, 2010 at 4:27 pm | by ZuzuStreet festivals are a great part of Toronto. As a concierge I recommend these all the time to tourists. These events happen every year and with enough notice in the news. It is very easy to work around these events.
September 1, 2010 at 7:48 pm | by AndrewBuzz kill much, Jan Wong?
We only have three legitimate months of summer, let us enjoy it for what it’s worth.
They’re called walking shoes, dear.
September 2, 2010 at 9:02 am | by ValerieWow…wah wah wah…this has got to be the stupidest article I have ever read. Do you want some cheese with that whine? Why don’t you turn on the radio or the TV before you leave, even the night before, to find out how these amazing festivals THAT BRING LIFE TO THE CITY will interfere with your drive?
Articles like this, ones where the writer basically complains and whines about things that are happening in the city really irks me. And then they will probably write about how there’s nothing to do and how Toronto is such a boring city. What a waste of time.
September 2, 2010 at 9:05 am | by Allan CorderoWhat a moron! Get out of your car, and join the revolution. Nobody cares about guzzling gas and lattes in their car while driving at a steady speed. There will always be traffic, so get smart but a bike, walk, TTC, or stay home! We want culture and community events! Wake up Wong!
September 2, 2010 at 9:39 am | by Aaron RothermundJan Wong, the only reason I read whatever you write is to check whether you are getting less insipid as years go by. Sadly, that’s not the case.
September 2, 2010 at 9:47 am | by Mario BI totally agree with Jan – the city is becoming unlivable. But it’s not just the street festivals – it’s also the road construction (have you seen Avenue Road lately? It’ll be under construction for another two years!!) and the new bike lane on Jarvis – in sum, it’s unbearable. And public transit doesn’t solve the problem – surface routes get caught in the same mess.
September 2, 2010 at 10:15 am | by stephFor your challenge today, count how many of these comments don’t know the difference between attacking to opinion and attacking the person with the opinion, nastily and personally. Sad.
September 2, 2010 at 10:34 am | by Tobywowwww… if you dont like the festivals you should move to somewhere else… lol and for all of you dont live in downtown then dont even bother to come if you like to complaint. stay where you are. and drive around your neighbourhood LOL… I live and work in downtown love my walking and biking . I hate the cars especially from out of Toronto,,, most of them stupid ignorant drivers anyway…
September 2, 2010 at 10:51 am | by DUH!!!!Wow, once Jan enlightened me about the dangerous of Mao and his regime. Now she’s pointing out the perils and hassles of dancing in the streets!
Thanks Jan. You obviously have alot of time on your hands these days.
September 2, 2010 at 11:13 am | by Stephen Roden