Conrad Black rarely misses an opportunity to share his opinion or flex his sesquipedalian loquaciousness, so when Corporate Knights (“the magazine for clean capitalism”) asked for his advice for the Occupy movement, the erudite inmate was all too happy to oblige. In Black’s mind, the protesters behind Occupy—currently an “evanescent magic carpet for a gaggle of hacks, gasbags and kooks”—need to stop spouting “the usual, incoherent, sophomoric grab bag of populist grumbles,” consisting of a “rag-bag of simplistic liberal flummeries.” And even though Black criticizes their unfocused demands (you know, like everybody else has), his own guidance is pretty scattershot. According to the Lord, the cure for humanity’s economic woes include these (because Black has many, many recommendations): have the Occupiers band with the Tea Party “and other reasonably sane protest movements;” impose a tax on the rich that will be only be reduced once poverty is alleviated, thereby motivating the one per cent to fix the problem themselves (we’re not sure if this is brilliant or bonkers); legalize soft drugs; and, um, stop perpetuating the myth of global warming. Read the entire story [Corporate Knights] »
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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 5 (wherein Black is poor and sends his own faxes)
The press comes down hard on Black as news of his unceremonious ousting from Hollinger becomes public. Blackguard Rupert Murdoch is the prime offender, allegedly whipping up negative ink out of nothing, but Black is most disgruntled by the betrayal of his onetime friend (and former lieutenant governor) Hal Jackman, who publicly smears Black with accusations of a death wish, a Napoleon complex and an “absurd” lifestyle.
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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 4 (wherein Barbara calls Conrad “Fat Fingers,” and the white-collar crime ramps up)
Those non-competition payments bite Black in the hiney this week as Hollinger’s audit committee begins a thorough investigation into the company’s funds. To no one’s surprise—except the Baron’s—it is revealed that the payments (totalling $30 million) made when Hollinger sold off its American papers, were not, in fact, formally authorized. But everyone told Black they were okay, you see, and since he didn’t bother double-checking, this development knocked the wind right out of him.
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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 3 (wherein Black falls and skins his elbow)
Conrad Black begins the third chapter of A Matter of Principle by devoting a page-and-a-half of ink to dumping on the old boy from Shawinigan—apparently Jean Chrétien dangled the possibility of the Governor General position in Black’s face and the Lord was none too happy about it. Dear, dear. But Black rises above the slight, acquiring a much more tantalizing title when he’s offered a peerage in the British House of Lords. Naturally, he calls Tony Blair to tell him the news—because, of course, Black’s friends with everyone famous and influential. Get it?
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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 2 (wherein Black drops a lot of names)
(Image: Tasos Katopodis/ Getty Images News/ Getty Images)
We already knew Conrad Black was well connected, but we didn’t know just how well until we read this week’s chapter. Black is as casual about his dinners with the Pope and Princess Diana as we are about a Sunday nosh at the Pickle Barrel. No big.
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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 1
When we found out that Conrad Black was releasing a book, we smacked our heads and thought, “Of COURSE!” Really, that Black hasn’t published a memoir Read the rest of this entry »before nowsince his first try, A Life in Progress, in 1993 is somewhat shocking—the famously loquacious Lord has never exactly been shy about speaking his mind and nearly twenty years is a long time. To that end, A Matter of Principle is a gift from on high. The gargantuan tome is a timeless, epic tale straight from the baron’s mouth, a juicy catalogue of betrayal (by pretty much everyone), love (for Barbara Amiel), corruption (of the American justice system, naturally), and triumph over adversity (think Dead Poet’s Society reenactments, only Black is Robin Williams and the students are Black’s cellmates). To celebrate this momentous literary event, we bring you the Conrad Black Book Club, in which every week we’ll be discussing a chapter from this seminal work. Read our first recap—and a collection of Black’s most ridiculous passages—after the jump.
Conrad Black attacks Stephen Harper’s law-and-order agenda with a lot of big words
Critics of Stephen Harper’s prison corrections plan may have just found an unlikely ally—none other than convicted felon and noted fancy talker Conrad Black. On the brink of his return to prison—the Lord is back in the hoosegow today—Black unleashed his impressive vocabulary on the Conservative government in Ottawa in a diatribe wherein he expressed his “violent disagreement” with Harper’s “so-called roadmap” for Canada’s prison system.
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Conrad Black talks to Matt Galloway about the broken American criminal justice system (and how it’s done him wrong)
(Image: Charles LeBlanc)
We’ve learned a lot about Conrad Black this week—be it his ability to make friends in the big house or that his verbose style of elocution even extends to anal cavity searches. Today, in an interview with Matt Galloway on the CBC’s Metro Morning, we also learned that Black is a self-professed victim of the American criminal justice system (of course, we’re used to hearing Lord Black insult the court—but this was a little bit different). “Once you’re targeted in the United States,” Black told Galloway, “you don’t really have much chance. And that’s not how a justice system should operate.” We sympathize, Conrad—we all know the American system is broken. But he loses us once he seems to suggest that when people talk about overcrowded prisons and unfairly treated prisoners they’re also talking about wealthy former media barons.
As if the family of Conrad Black didn’t have enough to deal with, Conrad’s son Jonathan Black is now facing criminal charges for harassing and threatening his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Taking a page from the old man’s book, Black Junior says he’s completely innocent and only being prosecuted because of his public position. While we admire the loyalty to his father—and his tactics—we sure hope Jonathan’s got a better legal defence than that. Conrad’s legal strategy of “screw the court, I’m Conrad Black” didn’t keep him out of jail, nor did it get him out early. Read the entire story [Toronto Star] »
With a serious legal defeat behind him and a return to prison in front of him, the smart play for Conrad Black would probably be to at least appear a little humbled. Of course, that’s just not how Lord Black rolls—hence, an upcoming feature profile in Vanity Fair where the convicted felon says all types of exciting things. First, on the prison experience itself: “I’m not embarrassed in the least bit I was in prison—not the slightest” (he’s also not embarrassed about being guilty of serious crimes either). Then, on making friends in the joint: “I quickly developed alliances with the Mafia people, then the Cubans. I was friendly with the ‘good ol’ boys’ and the African-Americans. They all understood I had fought the system, and I do believe I earned their respect for that.” Uh, right. Black also dishes, with his standard pomp and grandeur, on other, ahem, experiences, including what he calls the “official curiosity about that generally unremitting aperture.” Yuck. Read a preview of the story [Vanity Fair] »
Convicted felon offers political advice to conviction-less NDP separatists and praise for blonde conservative commentators
(Image: Charles LeBlance)
Conrad Black may have spent the last few years of his life watching events in Canada from afar—and from behind bars—but that doesn’t mean he lacks for opinions on the political life of the country. In his latest column in the National Post, the Lord offers the NDP some unsolicited advice on how to get past its current—and rather awkward—“whoops, our interim leader was a BQ-er” phase. Of course, in standard fashion, Black meanders through 600-plus words of verbose copy, this time explaining the history of Quebec politics in the 20th century, before he gets to his point. But when he does finally get there, he makes a boring and completely unoriginal suggestion—merging the New Democrats and the Liberals.
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Rupert Murdoch momentarily snatches the crown as most despised media baron from Conrad Black
Evil media barons number one and two
The bad news just keeps piling on. First, Conrad Black was sentenced to another 42 months in an American prison. Then, he was fined an extra $125,000 for his troubles (on top of suggestions he should also lose his place in the Order of Canada). But the icing on the cake for Lord Black may just be that when it comes to diabolic media barons, ol’ Conrad’s shenanigans are starting to look a touch tame compared to those of Rupert Murdoch, who’s currently watching his press empire teeter thanks to some pretty despicable reporting tactics.
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Conrad Black preparing for “war” against the U.S. justice system—also, working out
(Image: Scott Olson/Conrad Black/Getty Images
We had to admit we were a touch disappointed when Conrad Black’s re-sentencing hearing last week didn’t provoke the usual hyperbolic insanity from the media and the standard puffed-up rhetorical flourish from the Lord. But it turns out Black was just saving up all that pomp and bravado for an email exchange with the Toronto Star, and we’re delighted he decided against going gently into the good night. According to those emails, Black is preparing to get even with the U.S. judicial system and everyone who’s mocked him for his legal troubles in recent years. By our count that amounts to a heck of a lot of people—but no worries, apparently he’s also preparing to get buff.
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Conrad Black will have plenty of time to ponder whether insulting the court was the best idea after receiving another year of jail time
Lord Black is going back to the big house (Image: Brian Kersey/Conrad Black/Getty Images)
Conrad Black, former Canadian citizen, current British lord and now and forever a convicted felon, is heading back to prison to serve out another year of incarceration. On Friday, U.S. federal judge Amy St. Eve found that despite the fact that federal prosecutors dropped some of his charges, Black still deserves to spend a little extra time in the slammer. And while Canadian media might be suffering from Conrad fatigue—the reaction to his re-sentencing has been subdued in comparison to previous Black-related events—there is one common thread that is prevailing: don’t spend your time as a free man insulting the U.S. court system, especially when that same U.S. court system is about to decide your fate for the near future.
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Apparently, Conrad Black didn’t get that whole “convicted felon” thing, treating cellmates “like servants” and generally being “haughty”
(Image: Charles LeBlance)
There’s no keeping some people down. Despite doing two years in the hoosegow for assorted financial misdeeds, Conrad Black appears not to have let his new environs change him. According to the National Post, the former newspaper magnate treated prison much the same way he treated Hollinger, Inc.: demanding special treatment from workers and somehow managing to make his fellow inmates cook for him, mop his floor, iron his clothes and more.
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