Kraft wants to know what kind of Canadian can resist this (Photo by Stephen Boisvert)

• Mark Zachary of Orangeburg, South Carolina, has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for stealing an $80 New York strip loin. But Zachary says he was merely “massaging” the steak, not stealing it. The jury disagreed and found him guilty of shoplifting, imposing the state’s maximum sentence for the offence; it was his ninth. We’re unsure of where to file this story—under legal oddity or oddball romance? [New York Times]

• At a regular weigh-in in Vaxjo, south-central Sweden, a small Weight Watchers group had a start when the floor collapsed beneath them. Unlike the shared weight of this unfortunate, though uninjured, group, the irony of the collapse is immeasurable. [New York Post]

• More elusive than the Penan in Borneo is the middle-class Canadian family without a Kraft product in its kitchen. “I’ve always wondered where that 0.8 per cent was,” said Kraft president Dino Bianco, whose company recently teamed up with anthropologists to reach these strange, indifferent consumers. Kraft will use its findings to appeal to the South Asian market, as well as those who buy organic and natural foods. [Toronto Star]

• “When it comes to wine, this is not one country; it is 13,” writes Globe wine guy Beppi Crosariol, referring to the way in which domestic trade laws make it illegal to move alcohol between provinces. Crosariol calls for a “no-brainer” legal amendment that would allow unrestricted booze shipments within our home and native land, paving the way for national distributors (of which we have few), greater wine offerings within the provinces, and cheerier wine and spirits columnists. [Globe and Mail]

• China’s new Great Wall may be a symbol of goodwill toward the West, not least because the national security icon was rebuilt using a delicious, distinctly Western treat—chocolate. The 10-metre-long replica of the wall, made entirely of dark chocolate, is designed to boost cocoa consumption in China. The wall is one of the attractions at the World Chocolate Wonderland exhibition, to take place in Beijing later this month. [The Telegraph]