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Conrad Black’s post-jail plans: chatting with Peter Mansbridge and shunning beer

(Image: Charles LeBlanc)

Conrad Black is back in Toronto, and so far his plans sound pretty low-key for a baron. In an email to the Globe and Mail, Black wrote that his post-jail life will include updating his book and trying to lose some weight. He’s also trying to sort out a court case with U.S. tax authorities, suing British writer Tom Bower for $2.5 million over Bower’s biography of Black and his wife, Barbara Amiel, and wrapping up a few lingering Hollinger lawsuits. Not on the itinerary: buying back the National Post (which he launched in 1998), entering the newspaper business again or giving interviews to anyone in Canada but Peter Mansbridge. Black also refused the Globe and Mail’s long-standing invitation for a beer in characteristically verbose style: “I only drink the odd glass of wine and am trying to lose weight, so the forum you proposed, though appreciated, is a bit dated after these years that have passed.” [Globe and Mail]

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Conrad Black returns to Toronto (to a PDA from Barbara Amiel)

(Image: UrsaSharp)

The man formerly known as prisoner no. 18330-424 (i.e. Conrad Black) is back in Toronto—greeted at his Bridle Path home with an awkward-looking kiss from Barbara Amiel and a lot of press. Newspapers speculated that Black, having served the last months of his sentence for fraud and obstruction of justice, would be taken to a deportation centre in Florida to be deported to either Canada or the U.K. Instead, he made his way to Miami International Aiport accompanied by a police motorcade, and is believed to have flown straight to Toronto in a private plane (we wouldn’t expect anything less from the baron). [National Post]

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What do Conrad Black and Lindsay Lohan have in common? Permission to enter Canada

Coming soon to a country near you (Image: United States Marshals Service)

When Conrad Black leaves jail and his Mafia buddies behind at the end of the week, he’ll be welcomed back to Canada (or at least will be legally allowed to reside here), because the government has granted Black a one-year temporary resident permit. Not cool, says NDP leader Thomas Mulcair, who thinks “the British criminal Conrad Black” is getting special treatment since the country often denies permits to other foreigners with criminal pasts. (Though the Globe and Mail helpfully points out that Canada doled out 11,000 such permits last year, of which 6,500 were issued to people with criminal records). More compelling, or at least stranger, was Jonathan Kay’s argument in the National Post that Lindsay Lohan has had scads of run-ins with the law but didn’t have any issues being allowed into the country. We’re not sure it’s the same situation (Lohan was only here to film a movie, while Black likely plans to live in Toronto), but it makes us giggle to see Lilo and Baron Black of Crossharbour (can we call him CoBla?) occupying the same sentence. [National Post]

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Conrad Black’s getting out of jail, but he may not be able to move back to Toronto

(Image: Charles LeBlanc)

America’s haughtiest jailbird, Conrad Black, is getting out of the slammer this weekend—and thinking longingly of Toronto. After serving more than 38 months for financial misdeeds, the media tycoon and former Canadian citizen wants to move back to the city where his wife, Barbara Amiel—and several beloved dogs—live. However, Black’s fate is in the hands of Immigration Minister Jason Kenney since Black renounced his citizenship to take a seat in the U.K.’s House of Lords (of course, there’s also the whole convicted felon thing). If the baron is allowed onto Canadian soil, he already has at least one invite: his epically loquacious memoir, A Matter of Principle, was nominated for this year’s National Business Book Award, which will be announced May 28 at a downtown hotel. See you there, Conrad? [CBC]

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For once, the courts give Conrad Black reason to be “delighted”

(Image: Charles LeBlanc)

The courts have delivered everybody’s second-most despised media supervillain something of a moral victory. The Supreme Court of Canada ruled yesterday that Conrad Black was actually within his rights when he filed libel suits in Ontario against a mostly American group of former Hollinger International Inc. directors, officers and advisers—including Black’s avowed nemesis, Richard Breeden, and former secretary of state Henry Kissinger. Of course, the victory is largely academic, since Black has already agreed to settle the suits, and he’s certainly not getting out of jail any sooner. The Lord’s lawyers say he was “delighted” to hear the news—but, given Black’s penchant for rhetorical flourishes and his profound distaste for Breeden, we figured he would have chosen a more bombastic descriptor. We certainly hope the hoosegow isn’t getting the good baron down.
[Globe and Mail]

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Watch Barbara Amiel at home, re-enacting Must Love Dogs

We were excited to hear that Barbara Amiel had given Maclean’sone-on-one, on-camera interview, her first in years. That is, until we found out the entire interview was about her passion for dogsthe magazine’s attempt to publicize Amiel’s recent article on purebred breeding and (more so) to sell a few iPad subscriptions. Sure enough, the teaser video contains no juicy details about life with (and without) husband Conrad Black. Instead, Amiel nestles on the couch between her two Hungarian kuvasz, feeding them treats and talking about how “they have a small vocabulary, it’s true, but they relate to you.”

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Conrad Black Book Club, A Matter of Principle: Chapter 12 (wherein Conrad goes to court)

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 12

As his trial approaches, Conrad Black is wringing his hands. While his lawyer, Eddie Greenspan, is the finest legal mind in Canada, Black is concerned that Greenspan lacks the requisite knowledge of the American justice system.

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Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 11 (wherein Black compares himself to Job)

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 11

After what seems like a million pages (it’s actually 310), Conrad Black has finally been indicted. Boosted by testimony from David Radler (whom Black calls “the nasty gnome from Chicago”), the U.S. government is seeking a 95-year prison sentence. Plot-wise, we expected things to pick up around now—but instead Black just returns to his favourite topics: being poor, being persecuted by the media, and being friends with Elton John.

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Jonathan Black (son of Conrad) is under house arrest in Toronto 

Perhaps in a gesture of solidarity to his jailbird dad, 33-year-old Jonathan Black has landed himself under house arrest for allegedly violating his bail conditions. Black was picked up early Sunday morning at Toronto’s Horseshoe Tavern and set free the next day for $60,000. Now he can’t leave home without his mom or stepdad and can’t consume alcohol or access computers, smart phones or the Internet. In other words, he’s been grounded. Read the entire story [Toronto Star] »

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Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 10 (wherein Peter C. Newman’s imagination is ghoulishly prurient)

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 9

The action picks up with Conrad and Barbara enjoying the pleasant August heat on their Bridle Path terrace and engaging in some amateur nature observations (deer, foxes, raccoons, skunks) with a tipple of white wine. Meanwhile, Barbara gets her job back at Maclean’s and the pair hang with Elton John (again). Sounds like paradise.

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Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 9 (wherein Black falls and bruises his knee)

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 9

Only in the distorted world of Conrad Black does moving become an ordeal on par with the Hundred Years War or the Rwandan genocide. He admires Barbara Amiel’s “sad and heroic efforts” as they pack up their 800 boxes to ship them to Toronto. Who knew renting a U-Haul truck could be so poetic?

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Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 8 (wherein nothing happens)

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 8

While reading this useless chapter, we started to wonder whether Conrad Black was being paid by the word. Or maybe he’s being paid by the letter since he’s such a supercilious blowhard—and nothing happens.

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Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 7: wherein Conrad is charged with crimes

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 7

As chapter seven opens, Conrad Black recalls the release of Richard Breeden’s lengthy investigative report called, somewhat hilariously, “A Corporate Kleptocracy.” Surprisingly, the long-awaited publication is a relief to Black—all of the alleged “skullduggery” turned out to just be rehashed accusations. Not much new information came out of the report, which, incidentally, is how we’re starting to feel about the Baron’s memoir (although it is expanding our vocabulary).

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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 6 (wherein Conrad loses the Telegraph)

CONRAD BLACK BOOK CLUB Chapter 6

Going on the word of Conrad Black alone (and his long, obscure words are the only ones we have), the Lord has basically become the business equivalent of Charlie Brown (same initials, even!). He’s just trying to do the right thing. But arch-nemesis Richard Breeden keeps pulling that football out of the way before he can kick it.

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Conrad Black offers (incomprehensible) advice to the Occupy movement 

Conrad Black rarely misses an opportunity to share his opinion or flex his sesquipedalian loquaciousness, so when Corporate Knights (“the magazine for clean capitalism”) asked for his advice for the Occupy movement, the erudite inmate was all too happy to oblige. In Black’s mind, the protesters behind Occupy—currently an “evanescent magic carpet for a gaggle of hacks, gasbags and kooks”—need to stop spouting “the usual, incoherent, sophomoric grab bag of populist grumbles,” consisting of a “rag-bag of simplistic liberal flummeries.” And even though Black criticizes their unfocused demands (you know, like everybody else has), his own guidance is pretty scattershot. According to the Lord, the cure for humanity’s economic woes include these (because Black has many, many recommendations): have the Occupiers band with the Tea Party “and other reasonably sane protest movements;” impose a tax on the rich that will be only be reduced once poverty is alleviated, thereby motivating the one per cent to fix the problem themselves (we’re not sure if this is brilliant or bonkers); legalize soft drugs; and, um, stop perpetuating the myth of global warming. Read the entire story [Corporate Knights] »

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