Conrad Black is back in Toronto, and so far his plans sound pretty low-key for a baron. In an email to the Globe and Mail, Black wrote that his post-jail life will include updating his book and trying to lose some weight. He’s also trying to sort out a court case with U.S. tax authorities, suing British writer Tom Bower for $2.5 million over Bower’s biography of Black and his wife, Barbara Amiel, and wrapping up a few lingering Hollinger lawsuits. Not on the itinerary: buying back the National Post (which he launched in 1998), entering the newspaper business again or giving interviews to anyone in Canada but Peter Mansbridge. Black also refused the Globe and Mail’s long-standing invitation for a beer in characteristically verbose style: “I only drink the odd glass of wine and am trying to lose weight, so the forum you proposed, though appreciated, is a bit dated after these years that have passed.” [Globe and Mail]
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What do Conrad Black and Lindsay Lohan have in common? Permission to enter Canada
When Conrad Black leaves jail and his Mafia buddies behind at the end of the week, he’ll be welcomed back to Canada (or at least will be legally allowed to reside here), because the government has granted Black a one-year temporary resident permit. Not cool, says NDP leader Thomas Mulcair, who thinks “the British criminal Conrad Black” is getting special treatment since the country often denies permits to other foreigners with criminal pasts. (Though the Globe and Mail helpfully points out that Canada doled out 11,000 such permits last year, of which 6,500 were issued to people with criminal records). More compelling, or at least stranger, was Jonathan Kay’s argument in the National Post that Lindsay Lohan has had scads of run-ins with the law but didn’t have any issues being allowed into the country. We’re not sure it’s the same situation (Lohan was only here to film a movie, while Black likely plans to live in Toronto), but it makes us giggle to see Lilo and Baron Black of Crossharbour (can we call him CoBla?) occupying the same sentence. [National Post]
For once, the courts give Conrad Black reason to be “delighted”
The courts have delivered everybody’s second-most despised media supervillain something of a moral victory. The Supreme Court of Canada ruled yesterday that Conrad Black was actually within his rights when he filed libel suits in Ontario against a mostly American group of former Hollinger International Inc. directors, officers and advisers—including Black’s avowed nemesis, Richard Breeden, and former secretary of state Henry Kissinger. Of course, the victory is largely academic, since Black has already agreed to settle the suits, and he’s certainly not getting out of jail any sooner. The Lord’s lawyers say he was “delighted” to hear the news—but, given Black’s penchant for rhetorical flourishes and his profound distaste for Breeden, we figured he would have chosen a more bombastic descriptor. We certainly hope the hoosegow isn’t getting the good baron down.
[Globe and Mail]
Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 11 (wherein Black compares himself to Job)

After what seems like a million pages (it’s actually 310), Conrad Black has finally been indicted. Boosted by testimony from David Radler (whom Black calls “the nasty gnome from Chicago”), the U.S. government is seeking a 95-year prison sentence. Plot-wise, we expected things to pick up around now—but instead Black just returns to his favourite topics: being poor, being persecuted by the media, and being friends with Elton John.
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Perhaps in a gesture of solidarity to his jailbird dad, 33-year-old Jonathan Black has landed himself under house arrest for allegedly violating his bail conditions. Black was picked up early Sunday morning at Toronto’s Horseshoe Tavern and set free the next day for $60,000. Now he can’t leave home without his mom or stepdad and can’t consume alcohol or access computers, smart phones or the Internet. In other words, he’s been grounded. Read the entire story [Toronto Star] »
Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 10 (wherein Peter C. Newman’s imagination is ghoulishly prurient)

The action picks up with Conrad and Barbara enjoying the pleasant August heat on their Bridle Path terrace and engaging in some amateur nature observations (deer, foxes, raccoons, skunks) with a tipple of white wine. Meanwhile, Barbara gets her job back at Maclean’s and the pair hang with Elton John (again). Sounds like paradise.
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Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 7: wherein Conrad is charged with crimes

As chapter seven opens, Conrad Black recalls the release of Richard Breeden’s lengthy investigative report called, somewhat hilariously, “A Corporate Kleptocracy.” Surprisingly, the long-awaited publication is a relief to Black—all of the alleged “skullduggery” turned out to just be rehashed accusations. Not much new information came out of the report, which, incidentally, is how we’re starting to feel about the Baron’s memoir (although it is expanding our vocabulary).
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The Conrad Black Book Club: A Matter of Principle, Chapter 6 (wherein Conrad loses the Telegraph)

Going on the word of Conrad Black alone (and his long, obscure words are the only ones we have), the Lord has basically become the business equivalent of Charlie Brown (same initials, even!). He’s just trying to do the right thing. But arch-nemesis Richard Breeden keeps pulling that football out of the way before he can kick it.
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Conrad Black rarely misses an opportunity to share his opinion or flex his sesquipedalian loquaciousness, so when Corporate Knights (“the magazine for clean capitalism”) asked for his advice for the Occupy movement, the erudite inmate was all too happy to oblige. In Black’s mind, the protesters behind Occupy—currently an “evanescent magic carpet for a gaggle of hacks, gasbags and kooks”—need to stop spouting “the usual, incoherent, sophomoric grab bag of populist grumbles,” consisting of a “rag-bag of simplistic liberal flummeries.” And even though Black criticizes their unfocused demands (you know, like everybody else has), his own guidance is pretty scattershot. According to the Lord, the cure for humanity’s economic woes include these (because Black has many, many recommendations): have the Occupiers band with the Tea Party “and other reasonably sane protest movements;” impose a tax on the rich that will be only be reduced once poverty is alleviated, thereby motivating the one per cent to fix the problem themselves (we’re not sure if this is brilliant or bonkers); legalize soft drugs; and, um, stop perpetuating the myth of global warming. Read the entire story [Corporate Knights] »










