Six original party favours that will delight even the most swag-fatigued guest
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All stories by Ariel Brewster
Reason to Love Toronto: because the city ombudsman fights city hall—and wins
Fiona Crean skis double black diamonds. She paraglides off cliffs in Peru. And as Toronto’s ombudsman—our Judge Judy on all matters municipal—she takes on the power brokers at city hall. In October, she pulled off her biggest coup since starting the job in 2009. Crean discovered that over 90 per cent of the 12,000 claims residents made to the city between 2005 and 2010—over sewer backups, fallen tree branches, potholes and the like—had been automatically rejected. Her team’s sweeping, 14-month investigation unearthed something even more gobsmacking: the staffers who were dismissing these claims were lying to claimants, telling them that an investigation had been conducted. Crean is a seasoned political animal, having worked as interim ombudsman for Ontario, so she knows how the game is played. She held a press conference to reveal her findings, essentially giving Ford—the mayor who prides himself on quality customer service—no option but to comply. She made 10 recommendations, which the city manager, Joe Pennachetti, quickly accepted, promising to implement a new service standard by the end of this month. For a resident with a flooded basement or a cracked axle, that means no more bureaucratic foot-dragging on the other end of the line. Within 18 months—a nanosecond in the glacially paced world of government—Crean spotted a gargantuan problem and fixed it, turning her fury into results. Now that’s something we can get behind.
Toronto artist puts bullets through images of Jesus, Andy Warhol, Paris Hilton
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Toronto artist-slash-sharpshooter Viktor Mitic—dubbed Mr. Brainwash of the North (shout-out to the brilliant Banksy mockumentary)—is unveiling more bullet-ridden paintings on September 23, when his new book, Art or War, launches at Moos Gallery on Richmond Street West. The gun-loving artist will be “creating controversy by shooting at images of Jesus, Andy Warhol, Madonna and Paris Hilton” with assault rifles and hand pistols. The most controversial part, in our opinion? Listing a coke-snorting has-been alongside Warhol and, um, Jesus. Apparently Stephen Harper and Jean Chrétien are collectors. No, Mitic won’t be discharging his weapons in person at Moos, but here’s a preview of his work, after the jump.
Louis Vuitton wins World Cup of product placement
Fabio Cannavaro carries a Louis Vuitton case into Soccer City before the final World Cup match on Sunday (Image: Action Images)
Perhaps the real winner of yesterday’s final World Cup game wasn’t Spain at all—it was Louis Vuitton. In one of the most stunning acts of product placement in the history of soccer—or perhaps sports in general—the FIFA trophy was presented on the pitch in the monogrammed Louis Vuitton travel case pictured above (though, frankly, we’re not sure what’s hotter: the designer case, or Fabio Cannavaro, the Italian soccer pro carrying it).
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Be a celebrity tour guide: Katy Perry looking for advice on Toronto trip
Katy Perry’s in Toronto and appealing for local intel via Twitter. Beaver Tails and Canada’s Wonderland are on her list, but she nixed the Harry Potter exhibit at the Ontario Science Centre. No word yet on whether her long-locked fiancé, Russell Brand, is in tow. His recent tweets (@rustyrockets) suggest he’s been glued to World Cup games.
Extremely odd fitness: Sex and the City–themed workouts
Lift, smoke, repeat (Image: HBO)
This week, Extreme Fitness is launching a Sex and the City–themed boot camp that requires women to wear stilettos while exercising. The class, which promises to empower women via a “super-fierce body,” is a promotional tie-in to the premiere of the movie sequel on May 27. It will be divided into four parts somehow themed as Carrie (chain smoking?), Miranda (complaining?), Charlotte (running after King Charles spaniels?) and Samantha (strippercize?). Do we have any intrepid volunteers?
From the department of weird ad campaigns: Dockers wants men to feel empowered by their pants
Now those are some manly khakis (Image: Ed Yourdon)
Like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry and his girlfriend argue over a Dockers ad, we’re similarly baffled by the company’s Wear the Pants ad campaign that’s gracing the TTC right now. Its bizarre pants-centric manifesto is plastered on stairwells, turnstiles and walls in Queen station.
Dockers’ lament about “the decline of modern-day masculinity”—which went up just in time for International Women’s Day—is an ode to the pre-metrosexual era, when men wore the pants, helped old ladies cross the street, opened doors for women and generally “took charge because that’s what they did.” It goes on:
Somewhere along the way, the world decided it didn’t need men… Latte by foamy non-fat latte, men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and androgyny… It’s time to get your hands dirty, it’s time to answer the call of manhood. It’s time to WEAR THE PANTS.
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