Preville on Politics

The upside of being a have-not province

Posted on April 30, 2008 by Philip Preville

It appears Ontario may soon be on the receiving end of transfer payments. So says this report co-authored by TD chief economist Don Drummond (who seems to issue all the most controversial economic reports) and this screaming headline in the Star. This news, though unfortunate, does confer some benefits. As a have-not province, Ontarians can expect the rest of the country to stop quietly, seethingly resenting them. Henceforth, Ontarians will be made fun of out in the open, in an endearingly corn-pone kind of way. In other words, “Ontarie” jokes will now replace Newfie jokes.

It’s not like the joke-butt status won’t be earned. The biggest joke of all is the existence of a have-not province that is home to all the country’s major banks: Ontario has all the money yet can’t figure out a way to keep any for itself. Allow me to get the fun started with this knee-slapper:

Question: How does a Newfie pay for groceries?
Answer: With his welfare cheque, paid for by Ontarie taxpayers.
Question: How does an Ontarie pay for groceries?
Answer: He borrows the money from his Newfie cousin.

Comments

Neither the author nor Toronto Life necessarily agree with the comments posted below. Editors will not correct spelling or grammar. Toronto Life reserves the right to edit or delete comments entirely. Read our full policy

Lowen May 8, 2008 at 4:40 p.m.

The rest of Canada will never stop resenting Ontario. They're going to be mad as heck soon because they won't be getting as much as they used to from all those un-equal-lies transfers. They don't want Ontario to be equal!


Author Bio Pic

Philip Preville

Veteran freelance writer Philip Preville lived much of his life in Montreal and Edmonton before he was lured, like so many Torontonians before him, by the promise of more work and a better living. A National Magazine Award winner and former Canadian Journalism Fellow at the University of Toronto’s Massey College, Preville writes Toronto Life’s politics column. He lives with his wife and one-year-old son in Riverdale, just close enough to the Don Valley Parkway that he can hear it when he steps outside his house—but just far enough away that it doesn’t keep him awake at night. On his office wall hangs a 1938–39 press pass belonging to his grandfather, Elias Gannon, who wrote for the Montreal Star.


Preville on Politics RSS Feed